#finishing anything nowadays is a blessing

[sunnydayaoe]

{Dress up}

[CCCC FIC] Contains: Platonic Soul and Whole, sfw Petre[~4,500 words]

Soul really could not be normal. Clutched in His hands, the cutest little calico cat ear headband he'd ever seen. He gestured to himself, to Whole, to them, voice squeaky, "Is that-" for me? He really couldn't finish any sentence today, staring into His eyes: Deep brown and probably considering just how pathetic Soul was being. He shouldn't have asked. He could feel the shame, red like his halo in the midst of cacophony, creeping across his face. -- Dress up!!! Whole buys Soul some cat ears :]

Fic under cut! or on AO3

One would assume, wrongfully, that he would know better than this. He had assumed he knew better than this. Mocking him, taunting even, a little plastic bag carried the cause of his strife. Innocently sitting on his kitchen counter, contents spilling out the slightest bit: calico cat ears and a matching tail.

Pathetic to be so worked up over such a simple thing. It made him infinitely grateful Mind and Heart had left for a walk earlier and his Soul hadn't left its room for the day yet; Whole assumed he was just enjoying some alone time with both its ids and Whole out of the house.

He cringed as his thoughts drifted back to his Soul. The calico themed ensemble had been bought for him, after all.

Nothing was wrong with them, at a glance. Plush, soft to the touch, colored bright and cheery, they seemed exactly what someone who'd buy them would want out of them. What had drawn his eye in the first place, the signature black and orange splotching reminding him terribly of his Soul, looked charming even in the shitty kitchen lighting. He groaned, slumped over the counter, annoyed with how easily he was taken in by them.

It wasn't just that he'd gotten cat ears for his... friend, before he could think better of it. It was that Soul would definitely balk at the idea of wearing them.

He didn't think there was any shame in wearing cat themed paraphernalia, didn't even think Soul would find it shameful to wear them, but that wasn't the problem here. Soul already had fuzzy ears and a short little tail, rendering this wholly unnecessary.

Frankly, he would just look downright goofy in the whole ensemble. Curved, sharp horns with a cat-ear headband at the base, further down real goat's ears, and then even further a fake cat-tail to hang beside its real fawn. And, well... It would look cute. He just didn't think his Soul would have a similar view.

He slid his hand over his face, another noise escaping his lips. This was just embarrassing.

He knew Soul didn't need any new equipment for pet regression: at least, he'd never asked for or made any himself. Doing this, getting him things he definitely didn't want and would probably feel stupid wearing, was another tally in the mess he'd made of his Soul's existence.

He wished there was a guide to being someone’s... to being someone’s.

He'd flipped through article after article about " how to be a good roommate, " " all the things that only your good friends would do for you, " and even several blogs about being a good caretaker, yet none of them seemed to know the answers for all of... this.

He should throw them away. A waste of money, a waste of time, but what wasn't, nowadays? It'd be a bigger waste if Soul saw them and finally realized Whole wasn't worth as much as he clearly thought he was. He could see it so clearly. His Soul's eyes, wide with wonder and adoration darkening with understanding; seeing Whole for who he clearly was, a waste of time and effort.

Maybe that would be a blessing: getting it over with. It probably wouldn't fix anything. Soul- and Heart and Mind- were all stuck with him, their only Whole.

He shook his head. He couldn't be getting bogged down by thoughts like that now.

The bag was in his hand and he was halfway down the hallway before he could start overthinking again. His own trash-can would be best; he could just imagine the reactions if any of the three found his mistake in a more communal trash-can. He'd never live it down.

He made it to his room without interruption, thankfully.

With a 'oomf' he flopped into his desk chair, the bag ending up on the desk itself. He should throw it away, but...

The headband was in his hands, horribly soft. He fidgeted with it, and tried not to imagine them on Soul. Failed, like many other things, but the picture did bring a smile to his face. His Soul would look extremely goofy in them; adding the tail to the mental image brought out a giggle.

He was just having a little thought experiment before he threw them away, that was all. It wasn't hurting anyone.

Maybe this earned him karma's ire though, or maybe it was another bullet on the long list of problems he'd caused. Either way, lady luck was not smiling upon him.

His door creaked open, Soul peeking in, a smile drawing across his face in an instant. "Whole, you're back! Would you like to ha-"

He knew why he stopped.

Single visible eye dilated in, focused on the headband in his hands. It reminded him of that searching look Soul got on his face anytime he hadn't seen Whole for any notably long amount of time; searching, intense- looking for faults, for why he cared about him at all, probably.

"Is that...?" Soul gestured vaguely, like he didn't know what it was trying to say but trusted Whole implicitly to understand.

Whole did Not understand.

------

The day had been going well. Almost unreasonably well.

Heart and Mind had been civil, even affectionate, all morning. They'd left the house together some time early in the evening. A part of him {one he had been listening to less and less as of late} feared they wouldn't be returning, at least not in one piece. Most of him just hoped they got back early enough to join them for dinner.

Most of the unease was centered on the fact that Whole had gone shopping, though.

It made him feel clingy and a bit pathetic to worry so much when all He was doing was a simple errand, but oh, Harmonia, was it hard not to imagine something horrible happening to his Whole while he was not there.

It was fine, he could deal with it! Harmonia would return, probably with a little extra treat He'd gotten while He was out, and a satisfied smile. Getting out would be good for Him. Soul really should just... calm down.

That was what he'd tried to tell himself all morning, anyway.

He could feel the stress sinking in further, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up against Harmonia and forget all the stress of being apart. That would be dreadfully embarrassing though. He was probably going shopping to get away from them for a little bit {and, well... Shop.}, Soul attaching himself to His hip right as He got back would be tantamount to going right against Harmonia's will.

He could be normal! He... he could be normal just as soon as he gave Him a little check in. The footsteps, quiet as they were, let him know Harmonia had gotten back from His little trip. Maybe Soul could ask if He'd want lunch. Maybe they could eat it together...

He slapped his cheeks, shaking his head out like a dog. Getting ahead of himself again, daydreams filling his head. He needed to get a grip!

Just... just be normal, he reminded himself, with a final steadying breath. His door had been left open a crack, and with that note he pushed Harmonia's door open.

"Whole, you're back! Would you like to ha-" the sentence remained unfinished.

He really could not be normal.

Clutched in His hands, the cutest little calico cat ear headband he'd ever seen. He let out a near inaudible noise, though from what he could see He didn't seem to notice.

He gestured to himself, to Whole, to them, voice squeaky, "Is that-" for me? He really couldn't finish any sentence today, could he.

Whoever said that eyes were the window to the soul was clearly lying out of their ass, because what Soul saw in Harmonia’s eyes was not himself. Deep brown and probably considering just how pathetic Soul was being. He shouldn't have asked. He could feel the shame, red like his halo in the midst of cacophony, creeping across his face.

What was he waiting for? Soul to finish his sentence? That ship had clearly sailed and crashed… maybe he was trying to figure out how to let Soul down gently; that made more sense. His Harmonia was so sweet, of course He wouldn't want to be too cruel in His rejection.

Of course those sweet little trinkets wouldn’t be for Soul.

Whole moved, snapping Soul out of his thoughts immediately. Eyes wide, searching for any sign of what Soul was supposed to do. How he could be perfect.

His arms, holding the headband, had curled inwards. Like praying {like Soul}.

Harmonia, Whole, cleared His throat, like He didn't know what to say. He didn't say anything for a moment longer, awkward. Another cough. Soul was slightly worried He might just be sick. Soul's throat ached in sympathy, or maybe that was just because he'd stopped breathing.

"Soul-" He finally started, "This is- I just... I bought these earlier. Ah, while I was doing errands." He cringed, like He didn't really want to be talking about this. Talking to Soul.

Soul should probably answer, "Oh." No sound came out when he tried to continue, so he quickly shut his mouth. Maybe he would Not be answering with more than that. Maybe he should just walk out the door and dig himself a pit to lie in. Maybe Heart had the right idea.

Whole cringed back even further at that; Soul definitely made a mistake. Should he... try talking again? Before Soul could try another attempt at normal conversation, a futile effort, Harmonia was continuing.

"You can, ah, have them. If you want." He made a little motion to come closer; it was kind of an awful effort, motion aborted half-way through like He was embarrassed to be taking up more space than He already was.

It was all Soul needed though, and with a motion more practiced and sure than anything else that evening Soul had stumbled forward and landed on his knees before Him. The position, the cat ears it wasn't even wearing, the fact he'd felt stressed all day... It was hard to stay present, to not regress.

His Whole was already so stressed, He probably didn't want to deal with that right now. Soul could keep it together, for Him. {He knew he couldn't. Everything already felt a little fuzzy. Weak, but maybe Harmonia would forgive him.}

His face was a little twisted up, something sour that quickly smoothed out into calm. "Do you want me to put it on you...?"

Soul thought that was already the plan. He really kept embarrassing himself, didn't he? He did a little almost imperceptible nod, something Harmonia had to lean down to see.

Finally something that wasn't negative; He smiled, sweet and small and lopsided and perfect. "Let me..." He murmured, quiet, before slowly reaching out with the headband. Soul tried to stay still, really, he did. His efforts were fruitless, because the instant His hands dipped around his ears, gently sliding the headband on, he was had.

As if his body and mind were not one {ironic, because he was not the one split in three in this room,} he leaned into the hands with a hum. Warm, soft, kind. He made a noise at that, surprised and amused. With the smallest adjustment to the headband, His hands moved forwards to cup his face instead, tilting it up to stare up at Him.

"Cute...."

Soul's face was bright red. That didn't stop him from leaning in until nearly his entire head was supported by Harmonia's hands though. He scooted the smallest bit closer, head nearly in His lap.

Harmonia's thumb gently rubbing along his cheek was the last straw. He shouldn't have expected not to fall like this, He was just being too indulgent, affectionate. How was he supposed to resist...?

He nuzzled into His hands, shuffling the last few inches closer until he could set his head in His lap. Like a lapdog, or perhaps a very large cat, he looked up at Harmonia, eyes half-lidded. Harmonia seemed taken aback by his boldness, but Soul was too busy enjoying the feeling of His soft denim pants, skin-warmed, against his cheek to notice.

Another moment frozen, a moment where Soul started to almost regret his actions, almost came back up. It only lasted that single second though, His hands beginning to move again. One stayed against his cheek, the other drifting back behind his ear. "Are you a kitty right now...? I should have expected this." A ting of self deprecation, like He couldn't get over how stupid He was.

Soul wouldn't be standing for that, not when Harmonia was the definition of perfection. With a whine he nuzzled against his lap, staring up at Him with large baleful eyes. His arms reached up, paws on his knees. The picture of a pleading kitten.

He laughed, attention redirected back to Soul. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to worry you, bud."

That laugh was nearly angelic. Everything he’d ever need to hear for the rest of his life. He hummed, nuzzling further against Harmonia, trying to elicit more giggles and coos.

Anything to make his Whole happy. Anything to keep Him content to lower Himself to his presence.

It was like that for a few more moments, Harmonia’s hands carding through his hair. His nails were bit short, blunt, but still wonderful against his scalp. Still, like all good things, it could not last.

“Soul,” He started, before stopping. Words coming out before He’d considered them, or maybe the pause added in for some secretive sort of purpose Soul wasn't able to get, world so fuzzy at this point.

The lack of structure was unideal though. He couldn’t help but be reminded of that awful song He would sing when existence became too taxing. Each word drifting further and further from one another…

“Do you want off the floor?” A question interrupted his musing. "You can, ah-" He paused, the hesitance back, His face a bit red, "you can sit in my lap, if you want..."

He nodded with barely a moment's consideration. The floor was nice, if only because he had easy access to Harmonia. His lap, though…? That sounded heavenly.

The right answer, of course. Smiling down at him like a forgiving deity, practically glowing. It made him forget to start moving, just admiring instead. The smile faltered after a beat of him proceeding to do absolutely nothing, confusion clouding His eyes. Seeming to realize Soul wasn't going to be getting up himself, He reached down, arms a bit hesitant as they curled around him.

Of course Soul was nothing but relaxed in His arms, nearly going limp the second he could feel Him supporting him. A faux purr started up, the noise interrupted every other second with a giggle. He needed to calm down- but it was so so hard to, when He kept looking at him like that.

"And there we go!" With one last motion and a little scrabbling from Soul he was finally in His lap. "That better, bud?"

He nodded, face pressed to His shoulder. All the stress that had been plaguing him seemed to melt away in His arms, warm and present and undeniably there. It was hard, at times, to believe this was really his reality, but even dreams didn't feel this nice: undeniable proof that concord had been achieved.

And could anyone blame him? He’d like to see a single person who wouldn’t melt into these arms.

Gentle cooing, hands slowly carding through his hair… on second thought, the idea of someone else getting this instead of him sounded awful.

He cuddled closer, the side of his left horns bumping into Harmonia’s chin. In his haste, he finally noticed a detail about the calico cat ears: they had bells. Little jingly ones that made a sound anytime he moved his head. Delightful!

He shook his head, trying to get more of the clinking noises. This also earned him a squeak from Harmonia as his horns were shaken about as well.

He pushed Soul away the slightest bit, hands gentle on his shoulders, “be a bit more careful, bud? Those horns are sharp…”

He didn’t look too angry though, just amused at his giddiness. So forgiving and perfect! He leaned in to nuzzle his face, careful of His horns this time. His cheeks were warm and only slightly rough with stubble.

Harmonia laughed as he nuzzled against Him, trailing along the side of His head. Tucking his nose into His collarbone, he pressed the rest of his face to His neck. The way he shook and rumbled with laughs felt so nice…

His hands trailed along Soul’s back, lightly scratching just enough to feel through his shirt. Arching into it with a happy little hum, close enough to a purr to make him feel all fuzzy inside.

Then they stopped, leaving Soul to whine in confusion. Removing himself from His very comfortable embrace, head tilted back to look up at Harmonia, he let out another confused noise. Why no petting…? His Whole was smiling, crinkly in the corners like an old wrapper, saying cushy soft little things like, “don’t worry bud…” and “you can keep going,” so Soul probably hadn’t been Bad, so what could it be?

His attention was drawn to movement at the corner of his eye, Harmonia had reached for a bag on his desk. Plastic, probably from his shopping trip earlier… what could… oh!

Stoic and normally so composed, he could do nothing but perk up in excitement; was it a treat? Did He have a treat for the Soul? For being so very good and nice and responsible all the time?

His halo must have brightened at that, because He squinted a little, face scrunched up further, face painted a bit yellow by the light. He looked like what every painting Soul had tried to make strove to be: his Harmonia, bathed in the light of harmony.

He didn’t pay that any mind, more taken in with the possibility of a snack or toy. Shifting around and leaning over Harmonia's arms, using His chair for leverage he tried to stick his face into the bag.

“Wouh!” Harmonia snaked an arm around his waist and pulled him flush against His chest before he could investigate further, the chair wobbling precariously from all the sharp movements the two were doing, “settle down Atlas, I’ll show you in a moment.”

He squirmed and grumbled in His arms for a moment before doing as asked. Even without the treat this was still pretty nice…

With a flourish the treasure was finally presented to him. A matching calico tail to the ears he’d been given, equally adorable and colorful. 

This confidence waned as quickly as it came, the arm around his waist relaxing and the hand holding the tail stiffening a little. “Do you like it…?”

He answered with a happy trill, head butting His hand affectionately, careful not to catch any skin, or the tail, with his horns. Harmonia relaxed into His chair with that, eyes softening with relief as He let His fingers card through Soul’s hair.

“Want help putting it on?”

He nodded, squirming around on Harmonia’s lap until He was in a position where He actually could put it on Soul, half straddling Him. His Whole’s arms reached around him again, one just holding him still against His chest and the other actually clipping the tail to one of his belt loops.

With that, He was done, leaning back to admire His work. Soul tried to do the same, but there wasn’t really much room to do so in Harmonia’s lap. He turned a bit, motions awkward and giving him very little opportunity to actually see the tail or feel it swish around.

Gentle, like He didn’t know if this would net Him a positive reaction, he offered a suggestion. “Would it be easier to see that out of my lap?” He quickly continued, not frantic but not wholly relaxed, “you can always sit with me later… I can just get some work done, and you can enjoy that yourself, on the floor nearby…? I ah… don’t really have any cat-toys…”

The idea of being separated from Harmonia wasn’t the most appealing, but he really did want to move around more… if he really could just come back anytime he wanted, there probably wasn’t any harm in a little play-time; if he didn’t like it he could just come right back.

With that decided, he slipped off Harmonia’s lap and onto the floor, already feeling bereft of His warmth. An encouraging, “have fun bud!” Kept him from returning straight away though; he was going to have fun!

Doing a tight little circle to watch how his tail moved around with the motion, he couldn’t help but feel a little euphoric at the swaying faux fur. It was very very cute. But maybe he went around a few too many times: he ended up a bit dizzy after.

It was very much worth it though, because all the spinning reminded him of the little jingly bells on his cat ears.

He gave it a good shake, admiring how clearly the sound rang out. Batting at it a few times for good measure, knocking it a little loose. Half-on half-off it wasn't as comfortable.

Trying to fix it, he brought his paws back to his head and tried to bat at it again. Of course, this only knocked it off fully. Landing on the floor with a few more little tinkles. He could have probably just grabbed it and put it back on, but it did a little bounce and it just kept Jingling and he was pouncing before he had a conscious thought.

Batting around the improvised cat toy was way more enjoyable than it should have been -maybe because Soul hadn't really gotten to play with toys in kitten space before.

Harmonia had stopped watching him after a little bit, and he let himself fully get into the zone. One, probably too forceful, hit landed the headband on Whole's bed.

He made quick work of scrambling over to the bed and jumping up, enjoying the way his tail trailed behind him when he moved fast enough. The springs protested the motion, but he paid them no mind, seizing his prize.

Mantling over it, he just enjoyed the fact he'd "caught" it. Slowing down like that let him process the fact he was in Harmonia's bed, too. Soft and unmade, it was, overall, extremely normal. That didn't stop a little nervous feeling enveloping him, scared he was doing something wrong.

Looking over, He didn't seem to be paying much attention, though after Soul stayed quiet for a bit He looked over. Apparently not seeing anything amiss, He gave a little wave, before getting back to work.

So this was... allowed. He guessed it makes sense, Whole hadn't made any other fuss about him being on the furniture as a kitten, so this wasn't that strange. Slightly more secure in the fact that he wasn't breaking any rules, he flopped over and cradled the belled headband.

His bed smelled nice {or well... it didn't smell That nice, but it smelled like Him}, and he couldn't resist the urge to roll around a little. He stretched, enjoying the ambience. It was.... pleasant;: calm. He hadn't really let himself relax all day, too many distinct variables to keep track of.

Now though... he could just relax in His bed, content that things were okay. Mind and Heart were still out, but that felt less pressing. He knew they were getting along now, spending time together...

And centering, grounding, Harmonia worked at his computer several feet away. Safe.

It was all just... so very nice.

------

"We're home!"

Heart and Mind had come back, Heart's cheery voice signaling their return. Just as his fingers were starting to cramp too, a sure sign Whole had been working too long.

He stretched out his hands with a groan, taking off his head-set as well. As he got up, his eyes were drawn to his bed, where Soul was sound asleep. He'd assumed the third had left, quiet for so long, but it seems he just tuckered himself out instead.

After a moment's consideration, he decided waking Soul up was probably for the best; it was around dinner time now, and the Sun and Moon probably grabbed food while they were out.

Creeping up to the bed, quiet in a way he probably didn't need to be-- he was going to be waking him up either way-- he sat down next to him.

His Soul was curled around the calico-themed headband, a relaxed smile spanning his entire face, halves mismatched but both softened by concord.

He touched his own face at that, surprised. The darkened half was supposed to mirror his own; he didn't know the last time he'd smiled like that. As if brought on by the attention, he finally noticed how much his face ached from smiling.

He shook his head, knowing he couldn't be dwelling on this. Focusing on the present instead, he shook his shoulder, "Soul? Can you wake up, dude?"

He curled up further, getting further into that catlike ball. Cute, if he didn't worry he was actually annoying him. Maybe he shouldn't be trying to wake him up...

The choice didn't seem up to him though, because there was a harsh knocking against the door. Three sharp raps: Mind. Its voice coming through a second later only confirming that, "We got dinner; get out here soon."

He called back an affirmative, trying to keep his voice down, but the effort was characteristically worthless. Mind wasn't one to control his volume, and he could already see Soul shifting to wakefulness.

"Hey Soul..."

"Urghgh- Harmonia?"

That word, usually he didn't use it out loud. It seems that was who he was to Soul still, "Dinner time, Heart and Mind came back."

He just blinked up at Whole, visible eye half-lidded and sleepy, "You're so pretty..."

He tried to ignore the flutters he set off in his chest, nervous, giggly, "Hey- hey. Eyes on the prize, dinner time."

He hummed, folding out in a cat-like stretch; he seemed to be categorizing the feeling of the bed before, almost like a flip was switched, he froze.

Sitting up like he'd been dragged up, he grinned at Whole, "Ah- morning." A glance at the clock, "Evening, I mean. Sorry to keep you here so long... it's dinner now, right?"

Hoping he wasn't overstepping any bounds, he placed a hand on Soul's shoulder, "Anytime, Soul. I'm just glad you enjoyed the gift."

The thirds hands shot right back to his lap at that, clutching the headband, like he'd forgotten it was there at all; the motion making it jingle all over again. "Yeah... it was nice."

Soul was still a mess from his nap, relaxed in ways he usually didn't allow himself, and Whole couldn't help but admire the way this experience had let him see that. See the way even stripped bare of his mask, he still looked at him like he hung all the stars in the sky. He still didn't know what he'd done to earn that.

He didn't think there was anything he'd ever done that could measure up. Maybe that was okay though. Maybe it was time to accept that he didn't have to earn every scrap of happiness in his life.

Another call from the kitchen, breaking the two out of their reverie.

He didn't mind, trailing after Soul to meet the other two in the kitchen. Warm, soft, another domestic day. He wouldn't have it another way.

[aeroplaneblues]

Wakey wakey little lion🦁

My offering to the gacha aeons so i can get jy’s light cone early🥺 May all Jing Yuan wanters be havers soon🥰

[sanemisstalker]

N/SFW. Minors DNI

CW: GN reader / Men's Mental Health IG ???

KNY characters that I think are more prone to cumming in their pants / NSFW

Giyu

-He's inexperienced.

-I admire the almost fandom consensus of him being either resident, sexy, black haired, quiet anime boy, and/or 'nobody likes this friendless loser, he definitely has a tumblr'

-Any attention, platonic or not, from someone he's attracted to is enough to make Giyu get an apparent boner. He's prone to them when the people he admires say genuinely nice things to him.

-He doesn't get to hear nice things a lot, nor does he take compliments easily, so when he believes them, his body can't help but believe them too.

-He'd rather it not be that way, but due to his floundering mental health, and general isolation, Giyu isn't jerking off very often, nor is he able to get it up when he wants to, so he just goes... months without thinking about it sometimes.

-Could definitely cum from kissing too hard. Not just kissing, but particularly the rough treatment.

-Giyu must be incredibly touch starved, I imagine. I can't fiction the last time he's hugged someone. That scene where he's holding Shinobu, perhaps?

-So when he's getting so much attention, especially so much positive, romantic attention, even if it's a little rough, I'm sure his dick would be at full mast.

-he doesn't think he's predisposed to masochism or anything. He'd hope he wasn't, but it feels better when he's kissing, and maybe his hair is being pulled on, just a little.

-he'd be very embarassed. He wouldn't cry or anything, but I think he'd get up and leave the room. He knows you knew what happened, he didn't moan, but he flinched because the build up was so immediate, and he just couldn't stop.

-How pathetic. He can't show his face infront of you ever again. All he does is ruin good things. You're definitely disgusted by him.

-Even if he didn't realize how pretty his face looked during his orgasm.

Gyutaro

-Everyday I fight the gyutaro incel allegations, and everyday I fail.

-Gyutaro is socially inept, to put it blatantly. He spends an incredible amount of time locked away in his sister, and rarely chooses to come out unless eating for the two, or-

-if he needs to jerk off. A rarity, nowadays. Looking the way he looks can do a real number on one's ability to self-pleasure. He also isn't able to seek out assistance from any brothels- He still looks the way he looks. He's no Muzan- blessed with the ability to change his appearance at will.

-So when you're on top of Gyutaro, and he feels the curve of your ass in his palm, and your sex is positioned right on top of his, just barely grazing his clothed cock, as you try and teach him how to kiss (he's doing his best, but he knows he's not good-)

-He cums, and he cums hard. He grips down on your hips, and goes wide eyed, unable to stop the moan that rips its way from his throat... and then quickly moves you off of him.

-He isn't even finished when he moves you, he's shakey armed, and he nearly drops you.

-he's mortified. After all this time, he finally gets someone willing to touch him, and he blows it. He's borderline inconsolable- switching between begging you not to look at him and begging you not to hate him-

-but the noise he made was just so... pathetic.

Haganezuka

-Men dedicated to their craft don't have time to cum? Silly of you to assume he's ever even seen another person naked. That would imply he looked away from a sword for long enough to register it.

-On a completely serious note (as serious as I can be writing this), It'd be quite awkward interacting with Haganezuka sexually. His mind has been so consumed by perfection that, even if he wasn't dedicated to the blade, he's almost prevented himself from ever being able to cum in a social setting.

-He's developed a phobia of new situations he can't control. Especially sexual ones. Swords are easy and gratifying. Why would he ever need to cum when he can just make a sword and have it be respected and revered. Wouldn't that be nice-

-So when you started rubbing him over his pants, he was, admittedly, panicking. It's not like he went nearly 4 decades without using his dick... He'd just... gone 2 and a half decades without using his dick. Nowhere near the same.

-You'd barely even touched it, barely even pressed your lips to his neck, and Haganezuka was panting.

-The fear coursing through his veins, and the attention his forgotten cock was receiving- He grew more unsightly by the second...

-and then you pressed a particularly soft kiss to the corner of his lips and he was done for. That was his first kiss-

-Though shocked, you'd pump Haganezuka through his orgasm. It'd be enough to go through his pants, and spill over your hand.

-He'd grip your robes, and will you closer to him. His heels would slam into the floorboard, and he'd try to bury his face in your neck, attempting to muffle the groan he'd loose, only to fail tremendously.

-He'd be huffy after. Mad at himself and disguising it as being mad at you.

-'Well, maybe you shouldn't touch me anymore, if you found it so gross! Did you consider that? Just not touching me- ever?'

-but you saw how sad he looked when you said you'd do whatever he wanted. What a simple man.

[wileys-russo]

locked up II a.putellas x reader

god bless her thighs. gave it my best go, hope it doesn't disappoint. warning for suggestive content! locked up II a.putellas x reader

when you first started seeing alexia, having met at an event you were styling for and she was speaking at, you were both a little more reserved, you'd even go as far as to say she'd been slightly shy even.

which is why it had taken alexia nearly six hours of being sat by you, talking about anything and everything before she found the courage to ask for your number, polite and clearly nervous.

you'd smiled softly and of course given it to her, and that was the first step in the whirlind of dates, late night drives, hours of phone calls and eventually sleepovers which followed.

nowadays shy was not a word you'd use to describe your girlfriend, though you did relish in the fact that when it was just the two of you a whole completely different side to alexia came out, one which was much softer, relaxed, slightly clingy, and positively infatuated with you.

but the fact you knew her so well was why you noticed that something was up when she'd come home tonight.

"hola! amor?" alexia called out tiredly, closing the door behind her as her gym bag dropped to the floor with a thump and you sent her a smile as she rounded the corner.

"hola querida." you'd greeted her, not even having a chance to turn properly before the taller girl was pressed against your back, chin hooking over your shoulder as her lips pressed a few lazy kisses to your jaw.

"smells good bebita." alexia exhaled into your neck making you squrim as you felt her smile against your skin, large hands sneaking up your top as they splayed against your stomach pulling you even tighter into her.

"it is nearly finished, just enough time for you to shower." you reminded, twisting your head to softly kiss her cheek as she only hummed, making no move to detach from you as you stirred the food on the stove.

"te he echado de menos cariño." alexia mumbled, swaying the two of you gently from side to side to the music you had playing from your phone. "you were gone for two hours! mi amor we've basically been together all day." you laughed, the noise swallowed by her mouth which pressed against yours.

"does not mean i cannot miss you, no?" she spoke against your lips, pulling away and pecking them sweetly a few times before her chin once against found home on your shoulder.

"i like when you wear these princesa." your girlfriends hands trailed down your stomach, teasingly tugging at the waistband of the shorts you had on which were hers, the waistband rolled about six times so they didn't hang down to your knees.

"good, they're mine now." you grinned teasingly, forever stealing the blondes clothes and though as much as she protested and demanded you give them back, you knew she loved you wearing them just as much as you did.

"well mi vida you're mine, so really anything on your body belongs to me anyway." alexia corrected, the slight possessiveness in her tone making your head go a little foggy as her hands started to trail a little lower and her lips trailed kisses from your ear down to your shoulder.

"go shower before we eat! you smell." you teased, pushing backward into her before anything else could happen.

"you are so mean to me." the midfielder sighed before she grabbed your chin and stole one last kiss, hand smacking sharply against your ass before she slunk off to shower, sending you a cheeky grin over her shoulder as you shook your head.

if you hadn't turned back to the food so quickly not wanting it to burn you might have noticed the slight wince and the limp in her step before she disappeared into the bathroom.

but you didn't miss it after her dinner, your face scrunching into a concerned frown at the obvious discomfort your girlfriend was feeling.

you watched her limp slightly, alarm bells going off in your head as she grabbed both your plates, kissing you sweetly as a thanks for dinner and gingerly heading for the kitchen.

"ale." you followed after her, leaning against the counter as she hummed, rinsing the dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher. "what hurts amor?" you spoke gently, watching her pause as if thinking it over.

"hey, i can see something isn't right. talk to me!" you encouraged softly, arms wrapping around her as she sighed, hugging you tightly as you both relished in the comfort of one anothers touch for a moment.

"my thighs are just a bit locked up cari. it is nothing too serious i promise, i might have just overloaded the leg press today." she explained honestly as you nodded, concern still present in your eyes.

"okay. go lay down!" you ordered, unwrapping her arms and nodding to the bedroom behind you as she frowned. "i'll give you a massage mi vida, out of these and find something to watch." you promised snapping the waistband of her sweatpants as her face softened.

"bebé you don't need to-" you cut her off with a kiss before pushing at her shoulders and nodding for her to go, the older girl giving in and retreating as you hunted around for what you wanted.

when you entered your bedroom alexia was laying on her stomach on the bed, having changed into a pair of shorts and a cropped tank top, your eyes roaming her body shamelessly.

from the moment you'd laid eyes on them you adored the tattoos which littered her body, making her lay down with you one night and explain each one, the older girl swooning as you would gently kiss each of them once she had before waiting patiently for her to move to the next one.

you'd always known that dating an athlete would come with certain perks. you loved alexia for a lot more than just her body but you'd be lying if you said it wasn't something which attracted and deserved your love and attention.

alexia heard you come in and turned her head, watching with a smile as you stared at her, seemingly zoned out and in your own world, the footballer flexing her legs and chuckling at the way you zero'd in on her muscles.

"take a picture bebita it will last longer." alexia teased snapping you out of it, grinning at the blush which coated your cheeks. "don't need to, got the real thing at home amor." you smiled, tracing a finger from the back of her ankle right up to her hip bone.

"vale. ready?" your girlfriend nodded, shuffling a little to get comfortable as she folded her arms and rested her chin on them, attention shifting back to the television on your bedroom wall.

you moved onto the bed, laying the massage gun you'd bought the blonde awhile ago beside you as you knelt over her, sitting down lightly on the back of her ankles, still holding most of your weight up yourself.

"oh." alexia gasped slightly as you started to work on her left thigh first, frowning at the obvious knots of tension present, your girlfriend wincing as you worked into them with your thumb, moving around in circles as you squeezed and stretched the rest of the muscle around the knot with your hands.

"jesus." alexia groaned as you leant down and pressed a soft apologetic kiss to the back of her neck, her bottom lip clamped between her teeth as you moved to her right leg, the left a lot looser now.

"mierda!" alexia hissed as you started to massage a particularly tight knot, leg kicking up out of reflex and almost sending you flying off the bed as your eyes fixated on the muscles which bulged under your touch, extra sensitive from the rough treatment.

admittedly your mind wandered momentarily to how strong they were, how thick they were, how hard and how defined they'd become. clearly you'd not been paying enough attention to notice your girlfriend had been dedicated to leg day, and it was paying off.

a small moan of relief leaving your girlfriends mouth you were snapped back into it, clearing your throat and ignoring the heat which rose up your neck, continuing to work at the tension in her thighs switching to the gun.

"jesus amor, i love you." alexia groaned happily making you smile, her thighs already significantly less sore now as you moved back off of her and instructed for her to turn over.

"oh i like this view much better princesa." alexia grinned, sitting up slightly and resting her weight back on her elbows and looking as you moved to sit on her ankles again.

"behave." you warned teasingly as she winked, not missing the way your eyes roamed her abs and raked down her body, especially not how your gaze fixated on her thighs, the catalan flexing them and watching your jaw clench.

you again pushed down the less than pure thoughts swirling around your head, needing to worry more about minimizing your girlfriends pain, not catching the way the blondes lips curled into a smile.

"they feel much less tight now corazón, gracias." alexia sighed a few minutes later, sitting up and gently pushing away the massage gun as you clicked it off and stretched backwards to place it on the side table.

"you've been working on leg day mm?" you smiled, shuffling forward a little more now to properly straddle her hips, alexia's large hands settling on your own thighs with a gentle squeeze.

"alexia!" you squealed as suddenly her legs locked around you, hands grabbing at your her top, pulling your body properly on top of her. "very strong, sí?" alexia grinned, squeezing your body which was trapped between her legs.

"very strong." you patted her cheek with a shake of your head, the blondes thighs tightening around your hips. "what are you amor an mma fighter now?" you laughed at the position she had you in causing her smile to widen.

"you like them, mm?" alexia taunted with a smirk, grabbing your face in her hands, thumbs tracing your jaw, only able to nod at her words, alexia watching you all but turn to putty in her hands.

"show me how much you like them bebita." she unlocked her legs where they were hooked around you, easily maneuvering you to straddle her right leg, your eyes widening a little.

"vamos mi niña, you know what i want." your cheeks burned as she laid back down, moving to rest her hands behind her head with a cocky smile, just that sight alone causing your stomach to flip.

never breaking eye contact with her you started to roll your hips, breath hitching as alexia tensed her thigh, the muscles beneath you flattening and creating an easier surface to grind against.

"does it feel good bebita?" alexia rasped as you nodded, her hands itching to help you but finding more pleasure in watching as you slowly worked your way closer toward becoming undone.

alexia had always liked watching nearly just as much as she liked touching, especially when everything you were doing was at her command.

though right as it started to feel pleasurable, albeit your shorts getting in the way, hands grabbed your hips and moved you off of her, your back pressed into the mattress as alexia now sat on top of you with the same cocky smile.

you gasped a little as she slotted her thigh between your legs, pressing down where she knew you needed her, eyes ablaze with an all too familiar hunger.

you barely had time to register the switch in position as her hands slipped up your top, settling over your breasts with a teasing squeeze as she continued to press her thigh in between your legs.

her lips were next, slightly cracked and rough yet still soft as she sucked a mark into your neck, kissing over it softly before her face hovered above yours, cocky smile still very much frozen into her features.

"you gave me a massage princesa, so how about i return the favour sí? but of course with a happy ending."

[sunny-mercya]

Water Fright

Laxus Dreyar x Male Reader

Fandom -> Fairy Tail

Masterlist

Whenever it begun to rain—the droplets of water pitter-patter downwards from the dark stormy brewing cloud filled sky and splashing onto earth below and showering them with refreshment—you felt a sense of dread in your bones.

It wasn't really dread per se, but more a feeling of heavyweight—something which pulls you down and makes you want to stay in bed, curled up in the blankets, all day long—such kind of feeling it was.

Being at home or the Guild, you had long learned how to drown out the sound of rain—busying yourself with whatever you could find and sometimes you even would let the gramophone play, just to have something much pleasant to listen to.

Natsu—bless your brother for being out of the house before the rain even had started—despite being an cheerful, carefree and kind person would only have laughed at you, saying something like that you're just being sentimental again—and although Natsu knew the truth behind it, he only means it well.

»[Name]! I'm finished with folding laundry!« exclaimed Happy, flying out from the small room and over to you—saying his thanks, when you had giving him a treat for the well done job.

Since you're not an active guild member at the moment—besides the few occasional tag alongs with your brother—you're always glad whenever Happy, since you don't have an exceel Cat of your own, decides to stay with you behind and help you around with your tasks.

»Is this the new coat for Laxus-san?« Happy, after having munched his fish shaped snack treat—tasty treats, with real fish inside, which you had personally baked for him—settles down on your head and patting his paws on you.

»You think he will like it?«

»Yeah! This new coat looks so good!«

A small smile graced your lips—as you caressing over the smooth material, turning the coat over and looking at the stitched in, albeit clumsy from you, guild sign on the inside—truly hoping Laxus will like the gift, after all his old coat looked so scruffy and worn out nowadays.

In a few days—although sort of, as you're still not completely sure what relationship you have with Laxus now, because it wasn't neither exactly broken off but nor a stable one, more something like a hold off or short termed break—would be your fourth anniversary with Laxus and a coat is the only proper gift you could think of, which you knew he would like or being fond of.

You flinched—phantom jolts of pain chorusing through your hip and all the way up to your waist, leaving a uncomfortable ache behind to linger with soon blossoming pain—when thunder boomed and a strike of lightning flashed through the sky, making you reminiscing in the past memory of last year.

While it had been a year already since Laxus fall out with the Guild—the fights you had with him during that time and his excommunication—and even though all is being forgiven now, there are still things which can't be forgotten nor fixed with an simple apology.

Because getting electrocuted—marked forever with burning scars—by your own Boyfriend, then being thrown off a cliff, falling onto a small platform—dislocating and breaking your hips and leg in the process—falling into a river (minds hazy to even take proper notice of the water below, which you feared despite the element being part of your magic) with strong currents afterwards, when Gray tried to help you and almost drowning and then, on the brink of unconsciousness, still having to perform high magic—wasn't something so kind to remember.

Happy—when you shuddered out a deep breath and hands curling up in a tight grip on the coat—had moved from your head, down into your arms—giving you cuddles, it's his duty (having being ordered by Natsu) to comfort you when Natsu himself isn't here or someone else you're comfortable with and Happy, as your friend and part of the Dragneel family takes his task very seriously.

»If Natsu brings Gary and Lucy as dinner guests, then we need to start preparing. Anything specific, besides fish, you getting some fish no worry, you want me to cook Happy?«

It's random rambling by now, to distract your mind and yourself from the sounds of stormy rain and when Happy was about to answer, the shrill sound of the doorbell took your attention away.

Standing up, Happy still in your arms, you ventured out of the living room and into the small hallway towards the front door—opening it and greeting whoever it was.

»Oh, Nokka, hello.«

~~~•~~~

»Laxus-san! Laxus-san!«

It's rare for Happy—who had came flying into the Guild in such a panicked rush and fur drenched from the heavy rain—to shout for Laxus, when it's normal Natsu's name (and occasionally Gray), when there's or might be something wrong with you and the guild knows, if in any case Laxus name being shouted by Happy, it must be something serious then.

»Now, now, Happy, how about you calm down and tell us whats wrong. What got you so worried?« Mirajane dries her hands on a rag, walking towards the blue cat—who looked really like a panicked child right now—but Happy only shook his head, flying in circles and calling out for Laxus once more.

»Dammit Cat, what's gotten into you? Watcha want?«

»Quick Laxus-san! This Nokka guy has [Name]! Forced him out in the rain! Quick!«

Nokka was a guy—an wandering guildless mage—who had set his eyes, hungry like preying wolf on a hunt, on you after Laxus and you had a sort of distance in the relationship and it's a openly known fact how the whole Guild—especially Laxus, Natsu, Gray and Mirajane—disliked Nokka with visible frowns and lowkey hostility.

Well, well, Mirajane thought, finally a reason to have Nokka punched.

»C'mon Cat. Tell me which way.« Laxus grabs Happy by the tail and walking out.

~~~•~~~

Ridiculous, Nokka thought—annoyance rising in him—absolutely ridiculous how a first generation Dragon Slayer and mage of the element water is terrified of what he's supposed to be. It's truly ridiculous, isn't it?

After almost two years of watching you—you're a wanted and highly priced object on the black market—and finally getting to interact with you socially and physically since last year, the disappointment Nokka feels—when seeing you so cowardly sitting on the riverbanks and crying like a child—was like a bucket of ice being dumped onto him.

»The fuck you mean you can't?! Huh?! You're a Water Dragon Slayer! You're a powerful source! And now you seriously wanna tell me, that you, a goddamn water mage, is afraid of water?!« Nokka screams at you, gripping your wrists tightly and shaking you as if this would make you understand what he's saying.

It was already a hassle to drag you outside through the rain and now—and gods, does Nokka wants to hit you and perhaps he might do so soon—you're being so damn difficult, when he simply asked you, to cast a mere tiny spell.

»You can't be fucking serious! I've wasted two years with a disappointing liability like you!« Nokka throws you, after pinning you onto the muddy ground—slapping your face red and bloody—into the river and while the river isn't deep, it's still deep enough that the water reach your chin.

Nokka didn't seemed to realise that the increasing of rain—once soft and light, now hard and prickly like needles—comes from you, just like the up building puddles of water which merges into a rising wave now and towering over Nokka and the riverbanks.

You hated water, hated it so much that just the thought of having to use your magic makes you even more sick than your motion sickness itself—it's paradox, you knew it is, this fear of your very own element—but after what happened, all these years ago when you were a child, it just traumatised you so much that a mere sight of even bathing or just a bucket of water sends you into a panic.

You're aware what laughingstock you must be for everyone and what shame you bring to Fairy Tail—the disappointment Natsu must always live thru with a brother like you, what liability you are in any fights and what utterly useless human and pathetic Dragon Slayer you are.

»That high price for you on the black market is ridiculous. Why do they even wanna sacrifice someone like you even?« a second after Nokka's angry muttering—which you barley registered to listen to, but the sole word “sacrifice” sends you into a new deep rooted panic—and the up building wave crashed onto him like a wall of loose bricks and the next wave was already read to come.

»Hey, Asshole!« when Nokka turns, to cuss out whomever just said that to him, he was meet with lighting and a fist hitting his face—sending him a few feet away and crashing to the ground.

»Hands off from my Boyfriend.« Laxus scoffed, sending with a snap of finger another strike of lightning towards Nokka, before turning his attention to you.

Walking into the River and standing before you, Laxus puts his coat—completely soaking wet though—around your shoulder, letting first the high towering wave crashing down onto the both you, before picking you up and making his way back to your house.

~~~•~~~

A whine, full of exhaustion, escaped your lips as Laxus tugs you out of your drenched clothes—creating a soggy pile on the bathroom floor—and guides you towards the bathtub and although you're clearly exhausted—more mentally than physically—upon seeing the water, horror struck over your face.

»Hey, I know you don't like water, but if we don't take a good hot bath we're both going to get sick. C'mon love, I hold you.« Laxus tried to ease you into the water, coaxing you with sweet words, but even in locked up fright you could be rather stubborn—so Laxus had no other choice, but to plump you into the tub in one go and getting in himself just as quick.

Once the steaming hot water—something Laxus noticed quick, was the only temperature (either warm or hot, but no cold) in your house and Laxus wants to curse your brother for this—engulfs you whole all the aches, cramps and tension you've felt seemed to leave your body at once—sighing out in relief, leaning against Laxus' chest as he had wrapped his arms around you.

„If [Name] is sleeping, let him be Natsu. Let me just wash my hands real quick and then we can–“ Lucy stopped mid-sentence, when entering the bathroom, coming face to face with a rather intimacy scene of Laxus and [Name].

»Hey, Lucy.« it's a short, nonchalant, greeting from Laxus—who only spared Lucy one glance—while [Name] remained unresponsive as if he hadn't taken notice of her.

»I'm sorry for interrupting!« Lucy almost screams it, her face erupting into a red of embarrassment, slamming the door shut—shaking you out from your slight dozing off—and shouts something along the lines of;

„We're having dinner at the guild! We're gonna sleepover at the guild! C'mon boys! [Name] needs some alone time!“

»Is Na'su home?« you asked, remembering that you still have to make dinner.

»Not anymore.« and you only hummed in response.

~~~•~~~

Sitting naked on your bed, you watched how Laxus, clad in only way too tight boxers, rummages through your closet—grumbling about not wanting to wear tiny sized and old worn out clothes from Natsu, because that's what most of your closet consists anyways—searching for some fitting clothes for the both you.

»Aha! I knew there are some shirts of mine in there as well!« Laxus exclaims it proudly, turning around to show you his finds with a small smile on his lips—dressing you in it, before getting onto the bed as well and pulling you into his arms.

While you snuggle into him, Laxus moves his hand from your thigh, under your shirt and over your hip and waist, where the scars are—scars he had given you, scars which still would throb in pain on some days and being a reminder of what heinous acts Laxus had done to you, the person he loves the most—caressing gently over your ragged skin.

Laxus leans down towards you, capturing your lips in a long overdue kiss and ghosting more kisses over your face and neck—gods, did he have missed it, to have you this close in embrace again.

[kurocatsstuff]

11:55 : reincarnation.

genre : angst, suggested suicide, hallucinations, Scaramouche x reader, GN reader

notes : I got bored, consider this my apology for not updating on the magical girl AU I did :3

You’d never really resorted to anything in life, your grades were average at best, the only talent you ever had was drawing yet you couldn’t improve, your envy and self esteem dragged you to the ground, and you were always alone. No matter how much you hated it you were alone.

You were blessed to be having the friend you do have, Scaramouche. Yet you were scared to talk to him in the public because you knew he was too good to be true. Beautiful, smart, cold yet soft to you, your exact type. And that’s how you always knew he was just an hallucination, because he was fictional, Scaramouche from Genshin Impact.. as your real life friend? How stupid you would sound if you said that.

Holding his hand, comforting silence, intimate situations. All that you’ve experienced is just a wall blocking the loneliness that ate you alive. Just a reflection of what you want.

—————

11:34 PM, you were at the playground, sitting on the swings with Scaramouche to your right.

The cold breeze embraced you as you shivered in response, your coat and red scarf helping you through it.. turning to Scaramouche, you saw that he was looking through your sketch book.

“..Is this me?” He pointed towards the unfinished sketch as he tilted the page towards you so you could see it. “Yes, that’s you.” You answered in a quiet tone, you were a bit nervous to talk to him. Even when it was night, everyone was sleeping other than the few teenagers that smoked in the nearby alleyway.

Scaramouche smiled softly, a smile only you could see in a literal way. “It’s nice.” He mumbled, a soft blush on his face as he looked at it. You nodded in response. “Why don’t you finish any of your drawing anymore? You’re only sketching nowadays without finishing it like you used to.” You gently swing, while he was unmoving.

“Because it’s just wasting time.” Right, just wasting time… coloring and shading, completing your drawings either traditionally or digitally it was rare for you to do. Honestly you didn’t see a point in it anymore, you’ll just disappoint yourself again. And it won’t change, you couldn’t improve no matter how hard you tried.

“You should try at least, it’s nice to have a finished piece.” He wouldn’t know what it would be like, he’s not an artist, he’s not human either, he’s not even real. “..hey Scara?” You called out his name.

“What?”

“Do you believe in reincarnation.. like, to another world once you die?” He wouldn’t die, but it would be nice to ask. What does Scaramouche think about reincarnation?

“Maybe.”

“Do you think I could meet the real you if I get reincarnated?”

“I am real.”

“No, you’re not.”

[faithful-christian-walk]

✝️ 『 Testimony - Jesus saved me 』 ✝️

Hello everyone!

I'm called to share my testimony here by the Lord. Thank you firstly for reading it, God bless you!

So, in 2023, I was saved by Jesus when I was a devoted new age believer without even knowing it. The new age preachers spoke well-packaged brainwash to me daily, and I was naive enough to succumb to their philosophies. I prayed to many gods and deities, channeled "fallen angels", played black magic and witch crafts with the thought of trying to help people like myself.

A little story about myself, I grew up in a neglecful and emotionally abusive family. My dad would use fear to threaten me daily while belittling anything I ever did, there was no love but controlling behaviors from him. It was awful. My mom was ignorant to it too, my sisters all thought it was "normal" so to speak, so I was always gaslighted into thinking it was normal. As an only son, there was a lot of pressure on me due to Chinese tradition, my life since young was full of degradations packaged in the name of "lessons" and "upbringing". There was no little rest for me daily, but work and learning, all in order to satisfy my dad's narcissistic, egotistic, abusive and self-exalting mindset. He saw himself as a god, always saying how he was born to make me right. Basically, he has god complex.

My school life wasn't any better either. At age 4, I had to kneel in front of a stool to erase my homework while being belittled in front of other students for finishing more pages in my homework than assigned. No friends, outcasted and bullied in middle school and romantically betrayed in high school. The teachers used me to vent their anger and I was always looked down upon and my efforts disregarded. College life was hit by the pandemic, lost my relationship to distance and accumulated brokenness. It was one thing after another, I was pushed to my limits.

Anyways, the new age practices taught me how tarot cards were "good" and it can assist people in need, it was bad. Then, one day I channeled and prayed to some evil deities without knowing, which is basically all demons (fallen angels are demons), again without knowing it. Jesus came to my rescue when I didn't even knew Him. He asked me, "Do you want to be saved?" And I said "Yes Lord, please save me!" And thus I was saved. Jesus Christ saved me from all the abusive, dark, evil demons. Never in my life had I thought about demons being real but it's really real, the fallen angels were real and evil. Absolute evil.

Nowadays, Jesus saved me from being haunted and rid me of the new age practices. I no longer am a victim of their lies.

I'm still a sinner, a work in progress, but by grace and mercy God, without me even knowing Him, saved me. He loved us before we love Him, thank you Heavenly Father for coming to meet me where I am at, I'm thankful. That's why I'm still alive today, to praise and serve the Lord, He blessed me immensely, I'm nothing but thankful, a faithful follower and a child of God.

For anyone reading, God loves you too and is using my testimony to reach out to you. Seek Him today, let God love you, help you, and change you. Jesus is the king of kings and lord of lords, trust Him. God bless you, may we meet someday, as fellow brothers and sisters destined for Heaven.

Thank you! ✝️

In Jesus' name, Amen!

[helpinghanikan]

Domestic December: COD

Day 20: Graves, Like teenagers

DD Masterlist

Philip Graves was a football player back in the day, and you can bet your ass he was captain. He told you this as an icebreaker. Neither of you sure of what to say on that awkward first date, the simple fact that he could find anything to say was a blessing.

He was popular back in the day. A cherry picker and handsome young man the mother’s love and fathers respect. They were certainly some of his best years. He’s told you so while driving one night.

“Nothing compared to now, though.” He said, taking your hand while he drove with the other.

“Of course not,” You reassured him, not completely sure if he meant it or not. Thankfully, the turn came up before you could think about it too much.

There’s a makeout spot in every town; be it a turnaround, a drop and ride, or just a clearing off the beaten path. Not every spot has a name, but they have one thing in common; fogged up windows and a look out for cops.

The visit back to Graves familiar home has been a long one. Tight quarters with a lot of family left zero room for alone time. Maybe some light making out before someone makes a comment. Even with him pressing into your back in the morning wasn’t as fun when a ten-year-old was sleeping on an air mattress barely a foot away.

“This was a great idea,” He says, both of you getting out of the car.

“Get in the back seat, like, right now.” You practically order.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He says, slamming the door shut behind him.

Going at it in the backseat of a car is always more fun in theory than practice. It’s a tight squeeze, which results in a lot of bumping and pushing when neither of you meant to. Your teeth clash when going in for the first kiss. In his excitement he’s ripped your pants down the seam. The same being said for the front of his shirt, opening down to his naval.

It’s a heated and amazing moment. When encourages you backwards what else could you do but obey?

Knock-knock

The tapping on your window pulls a gasp from your throat. Graves grunting in a same level of surprise. The shock only staying for a second before it’s replaced with a smile.

“Graves, don’t-.” You say, but he’s already rolling down the window.

“Alright, Kids, zip it up.” Says the cop who immediately stops when she sees Graves adult-man face. “Oh, that’s pretty new. Most adults have a bed for themselves, nowadays.”

“Evening, Officer, something we can help you with?” Graves asks as casual as can be.

“Well you can start by putting a shirt on, then you can finish by wrapping it up before I take you both in for indecent.” She says with the grace of a chainsaw and the temperament to match.

Graves rolls up the window without adding anything.

“I thought you knew all the cops,” You said, pushing him up and off.

“Wasn’t aware the department made new hires.

[paruparuparuparu]

I finally finished the reference sheet for my oc!!^^

(Story under the cut!)

Aelius was born back when gods were plentiful, having been raised in the middle of chaos. Back then, death was an everyday occurrence, claiming those who were unfortunate enough to be caught in the crossfire.

They often moved from place to place, riding in a wheelbarrow large enough to fit both them and their mom as their father pulled the handles to the next ‘safest’ location.

As they became a pre-teen, tragedy struck. The war had overtaken their parents, leaving them alone to scavenge for anything they could find- shelter, food, clothes, anything. These years were both a blessing and a curse, teaching them how to defend themselves from any threats and yet carving a hole of loneliness into their heart up until adulthood.

One day, when famine paraded across the lands, they came across a god, bleeding out slowly after a gruesome slash to the chest. The god noticed Aelius’s condition- bloodied paws, dirty fur, deathly skinny form, and losing hope for survival. In her final moments, she decided to care for the poor thing, cleaning them up and loving them as if they were her own. She gave them food, comfort, shelter, and reassurance for a better future.

Before the god passed, she blessed Aelius with a single fruit, asking them to consume it so her presence may live on for ages to come. Aelius promised, not knowing the extent of the request as the god took her final breath. Years pass, and Aelius showed no signs of aging. Decades pass, and they’re still alive. Millenia up until this point in time, they have lived because of a promise to a god.

Nowadays, they live in a secluded area of the Lands of the Old Faith, humming songs and sketching fauna nearly everyday. By now, they’ve accepted their fate, making peace with the fact that they will see the world change. They etch each line onto paper knowing that centuries later they can look back on each page and appreciate what has been.

Facts:

-Aelius is an opposum.

-Their favorite hobbies are sketching and playing music for themselves to listen to.

-They are quite peaceful, but can be deceiving. Many times have they snuck into large cults and stolen resources for survival.

-They find the gods of the Old Faith beautiful, though they wish to never meet them in person.

-They are a caring individual, and most of the time when they are calming someone, they comfort them the same way they were cared for by the god.

-They can be quite playful, sometimes indulging in light teasing and harmless pranks.

-They are rather blunt.

[nellandvoid]

"it is unseen" or whatever the cool kids are saying nowadays

hello everyone sorry for the lack of art my brain isn't cranking it out as fast as it was previously but here have this silley lore + silvia-mabel bonding mini-comic (fyi people who make comics have all my respect this was SO FUCKING HARD for NO REASON and you all make it so easy god bless y'all) as compensation <3 (also yes silley is the silvia stan ship name don't look at me like that)

anyway i wonder why the reason for her divorce is so fuzzy to her... and why that's the part of her divorce that's so fuzzy... hmmmmmm... also mabel is so excited cause silvia is one of those people who doesn't reveal anything about herself unless she absolutely HAS to, so to mabel, her openly offering this up means that silvia trusts her and they've become level 4 besties

making this was very "unstoppable force (all of my lore drops needing to be comics/long-form info drops) vs immoveable object (i have Never done long-form art before nor have i ever finished a long-form project)" for me so while this may be more common (and hopefully look a lot neater in the future those with experience making long-form art stuff please gimme tips peace and love) they will not be as. often. and i will try to figure out how to do short-form lore dumps too lol

transcript below the cut in case any of the font is wonky!

PANEL ONE

Silvia: Ok, that's the sixth time you've sighed in ten minutes. Come on, out with it.

Mabel: It's just... boys, you know?

Silvia: Oh do I.

Mabel: This was supposed to be my chance for magical summer romance, but so far it's just been a summer of stupid magical creeps. And I know it's only been a few weeks, but what if the rest of the summer is like this?

PANEL TWO

Mabel: I'm just tired of boys being stupid, I guess. I dunno.

Mabel: Were boys this stupid when you moved here?

PANEL THREE

Silvia: Boys have always been this stupid, honey. And to be honest, boys that grow up here tend to be stupider than most. I'm one of the lucky ones...

Silvia: ...since the guy I married moved here after he finished growing up.

PANEL FOUR

Mabel: MARRIED?!

Silvia: Do you want me to braid your hair or not?

Mabel: Who cares about my hair? This is way more important!

Silvia: It's really not that big of a deal--

Mabel: Yes it is! You're married! To someone in town! Who is it, tell me everything.

Silvia: I was married. We're not... together. Like that. Anymore.

PANEL FIVE

Mabel: Oh gosh, that's so sad. I'm sorry.

Silvia: Eh, it's been years since we split. The two of us are still good friends, so no harm no foul.

Mabel: So then what happened? Or wait, sorry, I shouldn't ask--

Silvia: It's fine, honey. To be honest...

PANEL SIX

Silvia: ...I think it was a buildup of a lot of things. Small lies and secrets that didn't mix well with big tempers.

Mabel: You think?

Silvia: Yeah. To be honest, I never really thought about the 'why' much after it happened. It's all kinda fuzzy, but...

PANEL SEVEN

Silvia: I don't really remember what the final straw was for me.

PANEL EIGHT

Silvia: I just got tired of not trusting him, and of him not trusting me.

[aceofwhump]

HIIII

I’m currently not watching anything new, but AM going through a book phase??? (Haven’t finished a book in years, so thank you audiobooks and also probably Vyvanse?) Also I’m pretty sure some came from a rec post here???

I’d say that all of these books have:

- a focus on found family (!!!!)

- an angsty/whumpable male main character

- some hurt/comfort for said mc

- fantasy/magic with (imo) good world building

and are NOT driven by romance (anything that is there is side-plot), and do not include graphic sexual content (or, at least, it was insignificant enough for me to ignore it - same goes for the listed tropes, really - I was able to read with my fav trope blinders on, which doesn’t mean other stuff wasn’t there, but I can’t say that for every book)

1. Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom (Kaz)

2. A Darker Shade of Magic/A Gathering of Shadows (Kell)

3. Dark Rise/Dark Heir (Will)

4. Sword Catcher (Kel)

(Why do they all have single syllable names mostly starting with K and ending with L?)

ANYWAY highly recommend (in order, from 1-4), and would love to know if you (or any followers) have recs for fic (of the above) OR other books that check the boxes (esp if heavy on the comfort!!)

THANKS!

BLESS YOU!!!! I love getting book recs especially fantasy books with little sex/romance!!! That's super rare nowadays so I thank you! I recently finished reading both Fourth Wing and Iron Flame and loved them both (despite them being very romance heavy I found that I didn't mind it at all and really enjoyed the world and the story) and now I'm eager for some more fantasy books to read. Thank you for the recs!! I'll go give them a look!

I have posted some Kaz whump fic recs in the past so I recommend you check out my Shadow and Bone tag for those. If anyone has fic recs for the others on the list please reply with your favs!!

As for other recs may I offer a few of my favorites? The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind, The Ranger Apprentice books by John Flanagan, The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch, the Inkheart series by Cornelia Funke.

[anitabighug]

❥ A Perfect Experiment : Wally x Reader (She/Her Pronouns, Named) ✿

Chapter Masterpost: [  ♡   ♡    ♡ ] [Content Warning: Loss of Agency]

Chapter Thirteen; Do you?

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・● Time marched on, and your life marched with it. Exciting summer days gave way to quiet autumn afternoons, and every day you got closer to your neighbours. You felt like you’d always been there at this point; slipping into a comfortable niche in their daily lives. You were getting more work done nowadays with the past spring’s worries of loneliness off of the table. Someone seemed to stop by every day now, even if they weren’t looking for easily digestible answers. On this particular cloudy afternoon, you had almost a whole class. Julie had organised a game of dodgeball; Herself, Sally and You on one side, and Wally, Barnaby and Frank on the other. You were failing miserably, your throws easy to dodge and easier to just stand there and watch them miss. Julie was seemingly taking this as an opportunity to torment Frank. Wally wasn’t doing much of anything at all; simply observing, and launching a ball fast and true when he noticed anyone was slacking. You idly wonder if apples are as good for eyesight as carrots. Perhaps another experiment for later. A ball bounces off your head, knocking you back into reality. Why was your cheek wet? You turn back to your friends, only to see Wally already booking it to the nearest house; yours. Thunder rumbles in the distance, and Julie lets out a groan, “What gives?? Why does it have to rain? Why can’t we just have sunny days every day???” “Oh! That's actually an excellent question,” You tell her, and she lights up, “I’d be happy to explain it, if you’d like to join me in the lab!” The interested parties, which is all of them, follow you back to your home. Wally is already inside, staring out the window at the clouds with wide, panicked eyes. You clear your throat to get his attention, then motion towards your lab, grabbing your coat along the way. As the months went on, you continued to stock it even further. The shelves were lined with fermenting samples, or half finished notebooks on whatever your current obsession was that week. Life continued to bless you with the time and freedom to explore whatever your heart desired. You pulled up a few extra chairs to your lecture area, watching Barnaby forgo one to sit on the floor. He was probably going to sleep through this one, too, but you didn’t terribly mind it. You finally hear rain starting to hit your windows. This might’ve just been the perfect day for this lesson. You grab one of your notebooks, and start to reference diagrams from within onto the board. Wally watches you with great interest; he seemed to like the diagrams more than the lessons sometimes. It was easier to focus on the lesson than let yourself get swept up in nerves from his gaze. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・● You went rather in-depth on this one. Partly because you’d wanted to wait for the rain to finish, but mostly because you’d told Julie you’d explain this better ages ago. You’re explaining plants in depth now, about how they need sunlight and water in balance to survive, and so do we! You explain the water cycle; how we fit into it. “... So if it didn’t rain… The grass would all dry up, and we wouldn’t have anything to drink… We’d all have to move away from the neighbourhood, wouldn’t we?” Julie asks. Her tone is saddened, and Sally reaches over, putting a hand on top of hers. “But we don’t have to! Its still raining, even now! Groovy, isn’t it?” She grins at her girlfriend, who grins back, “You’re right!!! We should be enjoying the rain just as much as the sun!!” Julie stands with a start, frightening everyone in the room. Before anyone can protest, she’s out the door, already off to find a puddle to splash in. The group starts to laugh, and get up to follow her out of the lab now that the lesson was done. You offer your umbrella to Frank and Sally, who venture out into the pouring rain to collect their silly friend. Barnaby peeks around you eagerly, watching as Julie does a cartwheel directly into some mud. His eyes light up. His tail is wagging. You step out of the way, and watch as he dashes out the door to get just as dirty. You would’ve stopped him, but really this was between him and the rain at this point. Wally fidgets behind you, staring out at the rain, eyes narrowed. “... You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to,” You tell him with a smile. He visibly relaxes, and you giggle under your breath. You close the door, and wander back to your kitchen, deciding to calm Wally’s nerves with some chamomile. He graciously accepts when you hold the mug in front of him, and the two of you stand in your living room, watching the mess unfold outside. Sally has switched to the dark side, her and Julie now flopped over on the ground making mud pies. Frank is chasing after Barnaby, who has gathered mud all over his tail and is threatening to paint Frank’s house with it. Wally sets his mug down on your entryway table, and you wonder again how he manages to drink so fast without you noticing. You take another sip of the warm, sweet liquid. Wally moves to hold you from behind, head on your shoulder as he stares out at the rain. You wonder if this has been going on for too long. You’d gotten so used to these tender embraces, and the kisses he peppered across your cheeks on occasion. The guilt plays with your heartstrings. He hadn’t even known what a kiss was before you. He probably didn’t even know what kinds of feelings he was stirring within you. You needed to talk with him, but even now, you couldn’t find the words. Your mouth felt so dry… You take another sip, hoping that maybe the chamomile would give you courage in addition to rest. Would he be mad? When he realised what you’d let him do for so long? You finally pull yourself out of his grasp, and he makes a soft questioning noise, turning his gaze to you. “... Wally, I… I need to… You see…” You fumble. What if this wasn’t the right time? What if you made a fool of yourself? The mug is trembling in your hands. [♫] If you love me - Melody Gardot

No. The music starts, slow and soft, and your grip on the mug is gone. You can hear it shatter, but it sounds miles away. You can already feel something terrible rising in your throat. A pair of hands cover your eyes, and you hear a slow, quiet voice, “Don’t fight it.” He pleads. You can’t, not like this, not with him… “Breathe. Please.” … Fine. If he wanted to hear it; let him. You promised him, anyways, and you weren’t about to go back on a promise, no matter how much your heart ached at the prospect in front of you… “If you love me, let me know…” You feel his hands tense up. “Tell my heart which way to go… Come in close– but come in slowly, now,” Your hands move on their own, reaching up to cup his cheeks. “If you love me, let me know.”

His hands move from your eyes, and they slowly flutter open. Your gaze is distant, and his is wide, unwavering. “Other hearts may fly away… But my hope is that you'll stay,” Your hands slide down, across his collarbone, “We're two weary hearts aglow now– If you love me, let me know,” “Once the moon should take her bow, maybe you'll find the words to say.” Your hands are on his chest now, thumbs fiddling with the collar of his shirt. You wonder if he’s ever going to release his breath. “Still I've often thought that words would only get into your way…” “So, if you love me… Let me know…” You grip, and tug, and the distance is crossed. You close your eyes, too afraid to look at what his expression is as you’re compelled into a kiss. The music starts to die, and you can feel control being given back to you. Your hands shift, and press on his chest so you can pull away; put this mess behind the both of you, and you can finally move on with your life. It will hurt– but you’ll pull yourself together. Eventually. Wally is staring at you. Tears burn at your eyes. He crosses the distance once again. Every coherent thought you’d ever had is catapulted out of your head when his lips hit yours. You can feel his arms wrapping around you once again… Was this real? Was this actually happening? Your hands return to where they had been, gripping desperately at his shirt. You can feel a million sensations, but the only one you can focus on is him and his lips and his kiss. “... Gosh,” Is all you can manage to say when he finally pulls away from you. He doesn’t do so fully, pressing his forehead against yours and staring past your eyes and right into your head. “... I do.” You hear his voice, but you can’t believe it. You can’t even manage a reply. Your cheeks are burning hot, and your brain is swimming away on the current of emotions. He laughs his same dry laugh, and presses another kiss onto your lips. Then another. Your knees felt so weak… He must’ve read your mind, as he tugs you over to your conversation pit, sitting you down and checking over you quickly, making sure the number hadn’t taken too much out of you. Once he’s satisfied, he pulls you close onto his lap once more. The rain continues to drum loudly against your window, but it’s warm and safe inside, and you wouldn’t trade this opportunity for any other in your life. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・● @elegantkidfansoul @itsyoboysparkel

[msbhagirathi]

The Angel That Set Them Free [TATSTF 1]

My first ever fanfiction y'all :') Please be gentle in case of any mistakes :'))))) Go on. Read it.

This story is actually an AU Fan fiction of the Fan fiction Birds of a Feather written by @archi05. It’s the same until the moment their marital life starts and Arnav is in his depressive state. I don’t want to go into the details but the showdown that Lavanya did after which Arnav started regarding Khushi as another human being and not as some invisible entity. That means he is still very much in his depressive state and still does not consider Khushi’s presence in his life as his wife.

6 MONTHS LATER

One fine evening, he was returning from his office. Nowadays, Arnav mostly found his body working on autopilot mode. All his routinely activities were performed mechanically by his body. After the show down, that his younger sister Lavanya had given him, in his den, one fine evening. He felt as if he had been pulled out of his denial. Denial of his sham of a marriage with that girl. Denial of Myra’s aloofness. Denial of the heart wrenching breakup of his relationship that had lasted six long years. Denial of the fact that maybe Myra had never loved him whole-heartedly, the way he had. The way he had completely devoted himself to her. Ignoring every other relationship he ever had, ever since he was born.

He had loved her. He had loved Myra. With all his heart and soul. With everything that he had. Everything that he could gather up or muster within himself and surrounding him. He could hardly recall a time when his existence had not revolved around that one girl. He had given up everything for that girl, including his own self. Such had been, the depth of his love. But how did he end up? Broken. Lost. Lifeless.

He always felt this empty space, a void within himself. A space that he thought wouldn’t ever be full again. His mind felt clogged and frantic; his heart felt empty and hollow and his soul felt lifeless. He, occasionally, felt a physical pain in his body, an ache, whose origin was unknown to the body but very much known to his heart as well as mind. He didn’t know how to go back to his previous self. He didn’t know how to go back to the ‘pre-Myra’ Arnav. In the quest of ‘true-love’, he had long forgotten his own identity. His own self. He had completely forgotten the existence of the person named Arnav Singh Raizada.

He felt as if he had been guided by some light for all these years, through a dense and dark forest and now all of a sudden, he had been bombarded with the fact that there had never been any light, in the first place. He felt lost and listless. He felt as if Myra had suddenly leeched out all life and colors from within him. The soul long gone. Only, his body remained. Dull. Lifeless. He had entirely lost the zeal to come out of that dark forest. He felt as if he had no purpose left to live anymore. He felt as if he couldn't feel anything. He felt as if he was finished already.

Arnav was waiting for the lift to descend. When the doors slid open. He merely registered a blur of blue whoosh past him. He turned around to find a man, in blue scrubs and a blue cap, walking away.

He entered the lift, lost in his own world. The thought of Myra still used to bring back such a myriad of emotions and memories, which, he felt, as if, would crush him, with their sheer force. He absent mindedly walked into the elevator.

He felt as if he should give up on trying to come out of that dark forest, he had found himself, lost in.

He felt as if he should give up on his life altogether. End of story.

P.S. : So. How wazit? ;) Do tell. Ok. Bye. God bless you.

Next Chapter!

[msookyspooky]

   Fours a Franchise

Part 3

wordcount: 8, 468

You stared at the animated, charismatic man you hadn't seen in 10 years. Blanket curled around you to hide half your face as you watched the big screen intently. Stu imitating that voice took you back to the cemetery that day…How simple it felt hugging him and talking to him about the past before it all seemed to steadily go downhill from there on out.

Randy got your attention and pointed to the twins. "I think they're tuckered out finally…They stayed up just one extra hour more than they usually do. Count it as a blessing, right? One day they're gonna be out way past curfew worrying me and their mother sick."

You looked over at them. Both 6 year olds curled up together on a giant beanbag chair on the floor. Sleeping soundly without a care in the world. You couldn't stop the smile slowly spreading across your face as you lowered your blanket and Randy paused the DVD.

Karla crept into the room. "I heard the tv go off. Are they sleeping yet?" She whispered.

Randy nodded and took Chad into his arms. His son mumbled something in his sleep as Randy softly shhed him to go back to sleep. Karla took Mindy to help get them to her and Randy's bed.

You were secretly grateful to not finish Scooby Doo because seeing 'Shaggy' made you feel so many complicated and uncomfortable feelings all at once.

You REALLY didn't want to make that call now.

Karla laid Mindy down before she sweetly kissed her and Chad's foreheads as Randy tucked them in. Then she walked over to you in the doorway and quietly asked. "Are you going to be okay on the couch, YN?"

"Yeah, totally." You replied back. "I really appreciate you letting me stay, Karla. Seriously, I can leave and make up an excuse to Randy. I swear, he'll never know."

"Yes, he will." Randy mumbled as he appeared near the doorway. Children tucked into the center of their Queen Sized bed. You puffed air past your lips as he folded his arms and gave you a scowl. "I will know if you suddenly sneak out, YN. What do you take me for?"

"Ray, I was talking to your wife. You know, your equal, 50/50 partner and or other half that also gets a say in this household?"

Randy huffed but said nothing.

Karla thought for a moment. "Not here. Let's talk in the kitchen. Leave the door open. They like the hallway light…Especially after SOMEONE showed them Alien last week. Chad is convinced a creature is going to attack his face in the dark now…RANDY." She gave a side eyed glare at her husband.

Randy threw his hands up with a nervous smile. "Hey, now. Mindy demanded to watch it and I'm not denying my own daughter the pleasure of appreciating a good cinematic masterpiece with an excellent female role model, not to mention great storytelling, and the dying art of real life special effects. CGI everything nowadays; she loved the practical effects and engineering; she rarely sees it on tv anymore!...Chad loved it until that particular part where the xenomorph burst out of Kane's chest…In hindsight, I probably should have warned him. My bad..."

Karla tilted her head with a glare and a shake of her head. "I HIGHLY doubt he loved that boring ass movie." She gave him a look as he went to argue. "And don't try convincing me a 6 year old loved a damn movie where most of it is shot in a lab on a dark spaceship with scientific lingo. Just because they want to watch it doesn't mean they should."

"But he did!"

Karla shhed him.

"... He loved the sci-fi feel and he really liked the android until…Look, he'll be okay! I watched Motel Hell and Cujo at his age and I turned out fine! Look at me; Perfectly fine!" He gestured to himself.

You raised a brow. "That is extremely debatable."

Randy mumbled. "Well, Mindy liked it-"

"Melinda likes anything Randall likes. If she could wear your clothes and be your mini me; she would…Chad is sensitive to that stuff. He's not like his sister. He's-"

"Like his mother? You jumped into my lap and hid your face in my shirt halfway through our first horror movie together. It was that dumb remake of Amityville Horror, remember?" He gave with a mildly amused smirk.

"He's 6. Just leave the damn door open. We need to make sure we can check on them…You coming, YN?"

"Yeah. Just a moment." You said, watching the twins.

Karla smiled lightly and told you. "Okay. We'll be in the kitchen."

You nodded as you heard Randy whispering to Karla down the hall and she did the same to him as you just…Stood there a second. Taking in your two god children sleeping peacefully. Randy almost made Martha their god mother and Karla almost made her brother their godfather but both decided despite your flaws the kids needed someone that wasn't new to this survival thing just in case. They knew you knew how to survive and protect. It was agreed that if worse came to worse; all of you survivor's would come together to try and be a part of these kids' lives and you were first on the list. It helped that you made your own schedule for work now that freed you for taking care of kids more than Dewey or Gale or Martha…For a small moment in time…You couldn't help wondering 'what if?'. What if you did live a normal life or chose to live like Randy did? What if you had that domestic family life so many people wanted?…Then you remembered why they were sleeping in their parents' beds in the first place and you were grateful you didn't have kids with Derek or Mark or some random guy or hell even Randy, as crazy as it seemed now, had you both stayed together. Because the idea of worrying about kids in this situation terrified you as their adopted second aunt and or god mother. Let alone a parent.

You heard Randy talking a little louder and walked away to the kitchen where you saw Karla sitting down and Randy leaning back onto the counter.

You interrupted them to clear your throat. Awkwardly standing there as you asked. "So…Should I call up Gale to see if I can stay there or try and get a motel nearby or…?"

Karla thought a moment before sighing heavily and shaking her head. "No. I can't have that on my conscience. Besides, Randy's right. This is here…This bullshit is here and pushing you away won't make it disappear.  Besides, it's not fair to you." She leaned on the table with her arms folded in front of her. "I've been thinking…Maybe me and the kids should leave."

Randy focused on her, brows raising slightly as he softly asked.  "Leave?"

"Yeah. Not permanently, dumby. Just until this case gets solved…I know this might be a one time thing and we might not be in any danger but I'd like the option. Just have me and the twins go to my Mom and Dad's for a few days…Baby, can't you just leave too? Tell Dewey to get over it. Tell him there's a wedding, a funeral, anything!"

He hung his head. "I can't. The Woodsboro hall monitor would get me in detention and I won't be any good to you or the kids in jail. In fact, we'd be in even more danger because the killer always strikes when a person goes to jail. Besides, hypothetically …If we truly are dealing with a franchise starring a hyped up killer linking to all the past kills; where I go, the killer will probably follow. It happens every time." He shrugged. "YN and I are the survivors of this movie franchise along with Gale and Dewey. The only other potential victims are those linked to the original victims that died."

"Like Jill Roberts?" You commented.

He snapped his fingers at you and pointed. "Bingo. And just our luck, the newest Prescott lives across the street."

"God, not those stupid fucking rules, Randy!" Karla groaned.

"May I remind you, dear, that I lived through this a total of 3 times now and I've been right almost every single time?…Well, except Neil but I did say the past would bite us in the ass." He tilted his head and continued.  "So I think it's pretty obvious I can't go if that happens. I'm just as stuck here as YN."

Karla scoffed. "Then forget it! I'll just drop off the kids and-"

Randy held up a finger. "Ah, ah! We gotta be smart about this. You're smart with everything, now, hear me out and be smart here. We can't use our hearts over our heads in a horror movie...If something goes wrong; they need at least one parent. They need their Mother." He affirmed.

Karla went to argue with him for daring to even think that could happen.

You raised your hand with a wince, trying to get their attention as Karla stopped mid rant to stare at you. "U-Um, I hate to barge into this conversation but…Randy's right, Karla…I hate the idea of it but it's true. Plus, you have no ties to this killer other than me and Randy. If this was some guy with a trench coat and hook like the killer you faced? I'd tell Randy to take the kids instead, but right now, you and the twins don't need to be here…I really think you should get out with them while you can because the target will be me, Randy, Gale, Dewey and possibly Jill. The killer would only go after you to get to me and Randy. Or the kids-"

Randy sighed, seeming overstimulated with what you said as he ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, okay! We might be pushing it here! I'm glad we have a plan b but for now only 2 teen girls were killed and 2 teen girls got phone calls."

You leaned against the wall with a confused expression. "What are you saying exactly?"

"I'm saying, Karla might be right and this could just be an isolated incident. It might not have anything to do with us! I mean, not a single adult has gotten a call. You know teenagers. Obviously Jenny and her friend died last night but that doesn't mean these girls aren't just feeding into the Woodsboro propaganda…I say we hold tight until we get the big clue that we need to get you and the kids out of here. This is just talk for a plot that might not even happen."

"But, Randy. You just said!-"

"It's just talk, YN! That's all. Just in case of an emergency." Randy surmised before turning to Karla. "I think it's a wonderful idea to visit your folks for a surprise week-long getaway and if shit really does hit the fan…I say me and YN take the risk and sneak out. The killer will fuck up, get caught and we'd be in the clear anyways and Dewey can get over it…But till then, it's just talk! We're fine. We'll just hang tight, be normal for the kids and let this pass."

Karla gave a relieved smile and got up. "I am so glad you agree." She got up and kissed him on the cheek as he smiled at her.

You held a tight, forced smile. In the back of your mind you wanted to protest. To tell Randy he's in denial yet again and that he's just terrified of dealing with this again for the 4th time…But with Karla and the twins; you just didn't have the heart to argue.

Randy smiled and kissed her. Karla hummed in her throat and mumbled. "Love you, baby. I think I'm hitting the sack early tonight."

"Love you too. I'll be there later. I wanted to watch a movie or two with YN and catch up." His hand rested on the small of her back, lingering until she pulled away.

"That's fine but don't burn too much midnight oil. You still got work tomorrow. Night YN. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, Karla. Goodnight." You gave with a soft voice and smile. Even if you wanted so badly to yell at them both to get a grip and look at this situation as realistically or borderline cynically as you were.

You watched her leave as Randy pushed himself from the counter. Rubbing his hands together enthusiastically. "Alright! Now that we don't have to watch a CGI talking dog; Campy classic or serious thriller? Or are you feeling like action or sci fi?"

"Surprise me."

—————————————————

You and Randy were in your nightclothes as you lounged on the couch and he sat in a recliner. You both just finished watching Idle Hands. Both of you laughing for most of it.

"God, I haven't seen this stupid shit in years." You chuckled while eating popcorn out of a bowl.

"I have. Just last week. I keep it circulating as my comfort movies after a long day...Kids do not watch this obviously and when Chad did see me watching it I changed it and he just thinks the guy has some serious Asthma problems." He raised his brows at you.

"Uh huh and what does Karla think of the very nice but unnecessary boob shot from that one girl dressed like Paul Stanley?"

"Ehh...I kind of skip that part if she's around.  She's probably fine with it and it could be softcore porn for foreplay but it could also be 'You're sleeping on the couch with the tape and tv since you seem so interested in them'. As nice as Kelly Monaco's are; they definitely are not the real thing. I'm not taking that chance."

You chuckled to yourself at that.

He gestured to the tv with huff. "I still don't see where you get calling me Seth Green. He's like 5'4, he could stare in the next Leprechaun movie if he wanted to! I'm 5'10 which is well above average."

You gawked. "You are so full of shit! You are not 5'10. 5'8 at the max."

"Uh, no I am not! I'm technically 5'9 and 3 quarters. THANK YOU. Besides, even if I was 5'8 that is still inches taller than Seth!"

You grinned at him. "...Yeah, I know. I just like to pester you." He threw a piece of popcorn at you and you tried to catch it in your mouth but failed. You laughed and continued. "Consider it payment for all those years of pestering me. The second I realized I was close to your height or taller with heels and it bothered you? Instant fuel. Doesn't help you and Seth had the same hair in Highschool and he always played geeky characters…I really think he should have been casted for you in Stab. Just saying."

He blew a puff of air out in annoyance. "Certainly be better than Christopher whats his face."

The end credits came on and you set your popcorn bowl on the table. He then got up to go to the cabinet he stored a few movies in. "ANYWAYS. How about we watch something we definitely haven't watched together in years with genuine rules to survive a horror movie as a refresher?-" He picked up Nightmare on Elm Street and shook the dvd with a raise of his brows. "Huh? Whaddya say?"

You hesitated. Almost saying yes until you remembered your preteen crush was in it. When you realized years later that your crush, Glen played by a very young Johnny Depp, looked so similar to Billy…Well, it wasn't exactly a comforting feeling.

"Uh, nah. We've seen it so much I kind of want something new. Wasn't there a remake last year?"

Randy's eyes narrowed and his face sagged into an unamused glare. "Do not even mention that piece of shit. It was a complete mockery of the franchise and!-"

You waved your hand with a chuckle. "Okay, okay! Don't wake up your wife and kids. Let's see. There's My Bloody Valentine. Oh, maybe the one that came out 2 years ago-"

Randy groaned with his head rolled back. "Urgh, you just want to watch it for that Supernatural guy." He imitated his deep voice. "Dean."

"Oh, like that's a crime now? You got to ogle at horror movie tits for how long but god forbid I want to look at pecks?...And there's Friday the 13th from 2 years ago, House of Wax, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Jessica Alba is in that too. Rob Zombie's Halloween, Amityville Horror with Ryan Reynolds -"

He blinked repeatedly at you with a blank stare. "Yn, are you trying to make me have an aneurysm?"

"Those are good! Oh come on, Randy! What is wrong with reboots and remakes?"

"EVERYTHING!" He growled out in a comically dramatic way.

"House of wax had Paris Hilton, okay! The care that went into it is amazing! The way it was shot, the cast, the lore woven into the plot and Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 03 was scary with a great cast! And sorry, but Thomas Hewitt coming after me is a fucking hell of a lot scarier than Bubba Sawyer. It's a fun time; don't be an elitist horror snob."

"Hey, hey, hey! I am the farthest thing from a horror elitist, alright? I watched Society and Return of the Living Dead and Killer Klowns VERY enthusiastically. " He pointed on each finger while using his hands to talk. "But there's a difference between campy B list horror that doesn't take itself seriously and shitty remakes that touch the originals and try to scramble the plot just because some M Shyamalan thinks they can make it 'better' while completely disregarding the intent behind the original! They suit up the killers to be 7 feet tall and indestructible and either give them some bullshit tragic backstory that wasn't needed OR they make them crazier then what they were. It's insulting to long time horror fans! Like we need coddled into understanding why some cannibal hillbilly is the way he is. WHO FUCKING CARES!" He ranted before he sighed loudly. "Okay, some of those are not 'rip my eyes out bad' but the Nightmare on Elm Street remake? The worst. So bad I wish I could kick everybody's ass that was involved with that movie."

"Fair enough. Jeez." You gave him an amused smirk.

You settled down as he rummaged through DVD's. You couldn't help just saying it; the last few hours were the most interaction with a friend you've had in months. It slipped out with a sad smile. "I missed this…You know, me and you watching movies. Long talks. Goofing off. Sometimes Dewey and Gale coming over for game night. You and Gale screaming at each other over the game rules. Dewey trying to man the grill just for us to order pizza instead. Even me and Gale talking over coffee here and there…I miss it."

He turned towards you and smiled a bit. "Yeah. Life was simpler in our early 20's. Well, despite a crazed killer after us every few years…But other than that, yeah…What can we say? Responsibilities take hold and Adulting sucks and we're this much closer to realizing why our parents had mental breakdowns here and there."

"Yeah, it can…I know adulthood can take things away from us and make us busy but…How did we just…Slip away? " You sadly asked as his smile fell. "I mean, how do we go from seeing each other every single week for years on end to only seeing each other once or twice a year if we're lucky?"

He frowned, walking back over and sitting on the couch with you as you moved your legs. He stumbled over his words at first, mumbling. "I-...I-I don't know. Life, YN. We both got busy. Especially me before your book took off…I got with Karla and we went through the new relationship phase and not long after we found out the twins were coming and then a rushed wedding because Karla wanted to fit into a dress before her body went to hell...It did not, by the way, but she still insisted....And most of all her Pop's would have run my fucking neck that the eccentric white boy without a job at the time got his daughter knocked up without a proper wedding first. Have you seen her Dad? I'm scared of him a little bit to this very day plus her brother is 6'2 and pumps iron for fun. So...I can only run so fast for so long." He half laughed, half scoffed before shrugged. "I'm joking of course I was ready too! It just happened so fast and I didn't want to stay living with my parents forever with a new wife and kids. Honestly, we didn't have the room there for all of us. So I worked at the video store again and my old boss said 'Hey, wanna take this piece of crap off my hands?' and I said 'Sure!' So I went to the bank and thank god for Karla's good credit to get a loan…Got the video store, Karla got settled into her job coincidentally at the bank we got the loan from, got a mortgage here even though we didn't plan on staying at Woodsboro but it was steal and we couldn't pass it up, the kids went to daycare and now school and the book store was bought too…Life just…Whipped me upside the face the last 7 years."

You sighed to yourself. "...Yeah, I get it. It happens so quick too. One day I was alone in my cabin afraid to go to a movie theater by myself  next thing I know I'm on the big screen for interviews again and now book signings. Went from no one really knowing me outside of my name to everyone recognizing my face on the street...I guess life kicked my ass too this last decade."

"How? I mean, no offense but you're loaded and I'm barely making it by. I just saw you on Good Morning America a few weeks ago! I know the past sucks but you're doing pretty good for yourself now."

You debated saying anything, looking down as you slowly mumbled out. "I know it seems like that, Randy but…Truth is…I regret ever writing that stupid book sometimes." You shoved the blanket off of you to sit up further. "I just…Is it selfish to feel left out that everyone seemed to move on but me?" Randy's eyes scanned over you, brows slightly raising as he focused on you. You looked away a moment and continued. "I know it's hard for all of us…But deep down inside, I sort of envy you."

"Envy? Me?" He asked with a confused look.

"Yeah. Kind of. I envy you living a normal life with your normal spouse and happy family and being able to be a normal part of the world for the most part. I envy Karla too and Dewey and Gale…All of you went through Hell but you still found a way to move back to a town that the trauma happened in and you got over it and-"

He held up a hand. "Woah. Woah, there. My life is not as normal as you think it is, YN. Just last week, I had a panic attack in the book store's bathroom because I got startled. I felt pathetic that as a grown man I was breathing into a bag close to pissing myself over the cat knocking something over. It was so fucking random too! Half the time; I'm fine but for whatever reason this one particular thing triggered me. I run past closed doors on cars and buildings because I'm terrified I'm going to get attacked again. I flinch with loud noises just like you do. I have to take so many pain relievers at such a young age it makes me feel like I'm 70! Okay, I'm not normal."

"I know that it's more…Emotional. I'm not trying to compare; I know we all have our scars to bare. Believe me, I was there with you in recovery. I know. " He gave a sad smile, remembering you both dating sometime after he was released from the hospital and could barely walk. You sighed and went on to say "…But you have someone. That fear you had of not getting anyone after Sidney and then after me is gone. My last chance died in front of me, Randy." He frowned at you as you continued. "I can't trust people, Ray. I couldn't even walk into this stupid town without an angry mob forming let alone making a connection. I came here and two girls got murdered and I'm apparently... The Angel of Death." You choked out. "Gale gets to be the retired reporter and Dewey gets to be the hero Sheriff and you get to be the average guy with a loving family…" You stared at him, locking eyes as you drew out with a heavy heart. "But me? I'll always be the Final Girl and the Victim and the Suspect for the rest of my life. No one wants that. No one wants to befriend that. No one wants to even be around that! I should be grateful you even still associate with me since you quintessentially moving on with life past being just a survivor."

"YN…" He softly sighed out.

"Sometimes…Sometimes I seriously wonder if the trauma was what held us all together for so long because we were scared of befriending new people. Now that you and Dewey were lucky enough to be over your traumatic past just enough to make friends and get partners and normal jobs…I get left behind. Because I'm not over it. I'll probably never be over it. We all were targeted but I was the main target. From both the media and the killers."

He scooted closer, your knees touching as he shook his head. "I don't believe that for a second. YN, we just grew up! That's all." He tried reassuring you but deep down inside you knew better. He fumbled but told you. "Maybe you are hanging onto the trauma and you gotta ease up a bit? You can't isolate yourself forever, YN. It's not healthy or human. Trust me; I was a lonely geek most of my life turned recluse myself after what happened and I'm living proof it gets better!" He hesitated but said it anyways. "And…I know Mark's death hurt you. You've never been the same since Hollywood." He frowned and swallowed as you looked at him. "You really closed yourself off after Neil and Roman and Angelina. After you had to face off with them alone…I still can't beileve that I almost lost you and I couldn't do anything about it. I mean, damn! It's no wonder you seemed depressed and scared after going through that and I don't think you ever fully recovered...Who would? I hate that for you and sometimes I feel so goddamn guilty moving on but I just…I couldn't stay in the dark with you. I couldn't deal with my best friend losing herself so I went to that survivors meeting for my own sake and unwittingly met Karla and the rest is history. And I don't regret it, YN. "

"Randy, I never damned you for moving on. Never! You deserve this life and to be happy!… I just wish I could join you. All of you."

"You can! You gotta find the light, I mean…Isn't that what your book's all about?"

You released a bitter chuckle and hung your head. "Oh fuck, Ray. I didn't even write it."

He blinked repeatedly. "What?" He shook his head. "W-What do you mean?"

"Yeah. Rebecca found me after she found my pen name and connected the dots of who I really was. Convinced me to write a self help book that she had me edit so much the words weren't even mine anymore."

"You wrote other books?? Why didn't you tell me?"

You looked down and wrung the blanket in your hands. "Because I was embarrassed. They did badly and the idea of people I know reading my books makes me want to crawl in a hole and die, to be honest."

He shook his head, looking away a second in thought. "Wait…So, all of this-"

"Is bullshit. The hair, the clothes, the perfect smile and Martha Stewart attitude and motivational talk…It's all bullshit I've been coached on by Rebecca's team to get the most bang for their buck. " You shrugged with a numb monotone voice. "I'm basically a walking money maker for my publicist. I go to hotels alone after every event, get used by fame seeking money hungry media types, sometimes I'm lucky enough to go home and be with Cherri for a few days. I get so desperate I sometimes like Rebecca as company. " You hung your head, a humorless chuckle escaping you again as Randy stared.

"Jesus YN, I had no idea. You could've called! For Christ sakes, why didn't you try to talk to me about all this!"

You looked up at him. "Randy, I have. Every phone call we've had the last few months has been me calling you. I feel like a burden, Ray! I mean, seriously. How can I complain when I'm driving new cars and staying at penthouses between book signings and interviews meanwhile you're a struggling middle class guy just trying to provide for his family? I feel shitty talking about it now!"

"You are NOT a burden. I told you, life-"

You lightly smacked your hands together in frustration. "Gets busy, I know! I'm not damning you, okay? But I just needed to vent that my life isn't glamorous like you or anyone else thinks it is… I'd give every last bit of it up for it to be '99 again. Eating crappy spaghetti in my new modest cabin I just bought and me, you and Dewey having dinner and laughing at my kitchen table like we used to…" You ran a hand over your head. "I just hate feeling like this! I'm so happy for you and Karla and I love those kids so much. It's just the feeling of being left out of a life I should be able to live if it wasn't for society thinking I'm still a fucking murderer sucks ass. Maybe I'd like to be able to go walk on a street without fear. That I could go grocery shopping without stares or have a partner I didn't have to worry about being a killer or potential victim or have more friends and go out without a panic attack or threat on my life. I wish so badly I could be fucking normalish and move on the way everyone else seems to... I want that stupid pseudo-quasi happy existence."

Randy eased closer to you as you leaned your elbows on your knees. He hesitated before saying. "Well, YN. Maybe you should try again? Try to go to meetings like I did! I mean, Christ. You're an attractive woman in her prime that's now America's Sweetheart. You can't tell me you couldn't find someone...I know you can! I mean, if Mark existed or Derek or…Or just make another friend! I won't get too jealous. Now, if he's some movie expert that you're taking to the cinema with and saw movies I haven't seen yet I MAY get a little bit territorial over our friendship. I was here first. I'll always be friend number one, alright?" He nudged your shoulder with his and you tried to force a smirk as best you could as he kept talking. "You have a gun and self defense skills and most of all it's been a decade since the last killer attacked, and no; I'm not counting what happened today. We have no idea! It could be one of those protesters that killed those girls just trying to frame you or just regular jealous boyfriend teen drama murder that happens in every town at least once. For all you know, you could be wasting your youth terrified of something that will never happen again!"

You sighed heavily, knowing he was just trying to help but he just didn't get it. He could try but he still didn't understand…Especially with your secret.

"Yeah." You simply gave. You looked over at him. "So…Maybe you should do the same with work."

"Huh?" He muttered as you leaned on the back of the couch.

"Movies. Specifically, Hollywood…Randy, you don't belong here. Dewey belongs here but you don't and I think you know it. I know you love your family and wife but you are this close to being one of those miserable middle aged men in 20 years pissed off they still have to work their ass off while having barely any money and are bitter at their wife and kids as the source of why they had to work so hard and therefore why they're unhappy when really it was because they got suckered into thinking they needed a conventional life that hasn't worked since like 1970 with too many responsibilities to even think of being happy."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh please-"

"I'm serious." You stated with a look his way. "You said it yourself; the video store won't be a thing for long and how well will the book store go especially when your heart isn't in it? I know I'm being a hypocrite right now preaching about doing what you love and I know I have the money to do it if I wanted to and you don't. Okay, I know my financial privileges but. …You went to college for film! You know what makes a movie a piece of art. Use that knowledge, Ray....Go to Hollywood. Apply for some positions, and before long, maybe I'll see your name at an awards ceremony next to Wes Craven, James Cameron, John Carpenter or Sam Raimi."

He gave a soft huff with a smirk and eyeroll. "Yeah, I bet."

"What? Too scared? Can't move out of your comfort zone to be a failure while you're preaching to me to move out of my comfort zone with my life on the line instead?"

He gave you a dumbfounded look. "I can't just pack up and leave! That's easy for you, not me."

"Oh, I thought you were 32 not 72."

"YN, I have responsibilities here!"

"Responsibilities that can take a vacation until you decide for real…You own both places, Randy. Besides, Hollywood is 2 hour drive from here; max. So technically, if you had to, you could just drive back and forth until then. Karla has mentioned to me multiple times she wouldn't mind moving someplace with more to do than Woodsboro. "

He paused at that. "Really?"

"Yes." You nodded with raised brows.

"Well…I do feel guilty sometimes that she doesn't have more. She went back to college for finance and ended up married to a loser trying to make a dream happen that's been retired since the 90's."

"But it is there, Ray! You're just thinking too small with a video store or movie house when you could be helping make the fucking movies! Okay, Mindy and Chad probably wouldn't even remember this place if you moved. You could still not move at all if it works out." You sat up and put your hand out in front of you as you put a hand behind him on the couch. "Picture it, Randy. Doing something you love, something you're good at, something that could change your life and have you all never struggle again…And all you have to do is take the damn chance. You live in California, for fucksakes! It's not like you're traveling clear from Vermont for your big break. I just hate seeing you struggle and you're too stubborn to accept money from me.. So why not? Especially while you're still young."

Randy thought a moment before getting up and shaking his head with a bemused grin. "Yeah, sorry but I think that dream went out the window last time we went there. I'll manage. You on the other hand really need to take your own advice and take the chance."

You took in a breath and leaned back. "Yeah, fine. Maybe I'll try a survivors' meeting."

"Thank you!" He sarcastically announced. "Certainly beats being lonely or gardening as a hobby. Seriously, when are you going to line up and fill that stupid hole you claim is going to be a pond in your backyard?"

"Someday maybe." You smiled to yourself. 

He shrugged to himself and wondered aloud. "So…Maybe when this is over; me and Karla and the kids-" You frowned knowing they'd never find the time. He must have noticed and corrected himself. "Or just me and you can go do something. I GUESS Gale can come too. God knows Dewey won't."

"Are you still mad at him?"

"Aren't you? You should be at home right now. Fuck, we all should be there with you for a weekend long visit and instead we're forced here because he got a bigger badge and a vote and has to play the part now."

"Randy…You know Dewey's got to be lawful now. It's kind of part of the job."

"Yeah, I fucking know…Still annoying as hell and the start of every horror movie WHICH THIS MAY NOT BE!" He hissed out before you could argue. You faltered and closed your mouth with a huff. You saw him stifle a yawn before he said. "Anyways, we don't know anything yet. Here's to hoping we continue our normalish existence, try to make time for each other more and the only horror is coming to theaters this November after Bella had that kid named Resume."

"Seriously. I think you're secretly a fan and you just can't admit it."

"Am not."

"Wow, 5 year old arguments always win."

"Fuck you." He laughed out before yawning again.

You smiled and pointed behind him. "Go to bed, old man. You have big boy responsibilities now and need sleep. Gone are the days of your youth staying up till 5 and sleeping till 3."

"I'm not old, I work. Some of us have JOBS."

You made a mocking 'ooh' noise before retorting. "Don't be mad I worked smarter and more miserably and sold my soul to one of Satan's minions aka Rebecca Walters…BUT I can stay up an hour or two later than you, so there."

Randy laughed as you grinned at him. He waved you away. "Alright, watch whatever you want. You don't need me to tuck you in. Goodnight."

"Night." You watched him leave before switching on the regular cable and laying back on the couch with a blanket and pillow Karla gave you.

He came back in, rushing over to the front door to make sure it was locked. You raised an amused brow and he held up his hands defensively replying. "Hey, I'm not saying it's happening again…But you can't be too careful."

"Got it. I'll be on nightwatch. Goodnight Randy."

He saluted you as you playfully rolled your eyes and turned back to the tv.

A good 15 minutes went by. You weren't even watching anything. It was 11:45 at night and you were just thinking on that couch…

'...I know I should call them but maybe I don't have to? We don't know anything yet. Then again, we kind of do and Randy's just in denial like always.' You released a puff of air past your lips. 'Maybe he's right? Maybe I'm letting all of this eat at me for way too long. I have the money and means to go live anywhere I want! Maybe…Maybe I should? Randy isn't able to have the time to come see me and I'm not a fan of going to see him in this town. Dewey is busy as Sheriff…Gale is just Gale. When Randy isn't busy, Karla's busy. So why hang around in isolation when I'm not happy?...Stu hasn't came by in over a decade…Maybe…Maybe I'm scared if I leave he'll never find-'

You jolted at the thought. Refusing to even entertain the idea you were staying and waiting for those two.

You groaned and turned the tv off, jerking to turn to face the couch with a grumble. 'God, you need to get a grip. Go join pottery or something. Make a acquaintance at least.'

You went to lay down but caught sight of something between the curtains through the window above the couch. You sat up and pried the curtain back to see no cops in the cop car out front.

'Huh…That's weird.'

You sat up, staring out the window a second before thinking. '...You know what? It's fine. A normal person would ignore it. Let the cops handle it.'

But right when you went to put the curtain back down; you saw across the street Jill and Kirby crying and frantically banging on their window. Your stomach sank as you got your gun out of the lock box you had laying next to the couch. You loaded and called out. "Randy! Randy, somethings happening-" Hoping he'd be awake before you heard Jill and Kirby scream even from inside the house.

'Shit.' You got your gun and went outside, hoping to see the cops but they weren't there. All you heard were two teen girls screaming in terror and a pained scream coming from across the street. No shoes, gun in hand, pajamas on, you got your gun in position and ran towards the house. Jill and Kirby ran outside onto the street, screaming and crying while pointing to the house.

"What? What's happening-"

"YN, he's got Olivia! He's got her!" Kirby exclaimed as Jill gripped onto her. You looked up to see the teenager's body dangling from the side window upstairs as it was dragged back inside. Blood smearing down the siding as you felt like the wind was knocked out of you just watching. Your gut sinking as you saw her fingers try to weakly grab the window…She was still alive. "Fuck…" You whispered with a shaky voice before cocking your gun and yelling at Jill and Kirby. "Stay together and find the cops! Hurry! Don't come into the house no matter what!"

You ran up the porch steps and rushed to the door, trying the handle to see it was locked. You tried breaking it in with your foot but without your boots on it was difficult. You didn't want to waste the bullets so instead you tried to think fast. Grabbing a nearby flower pot instead and shattering the glass on the door before reaching in to unlock it. You didn't hesitate to rush upstairs and try to find her room…Stopping dead in your tracks as you saw blood stains under your feet…Going down the stairs. You almost followed them but you had to check her room first. The second you entered; you felt your knees buckle at the blood soaking her bed, splattered over the walls and her innocent posters and pictures painted with red streaks. You gagged softly, covering your mouth as that overly pungent metallic scent hit your nose. You looked around, gun aimed as you saw the room fully. It made Maureen's murder you witnessed on set in Hollywood look like child's play.

No Ghostface…But even more concerning…Where was the girl?

You went to run out, follow the blood streaking down the stairs to its source but stopped as a ringing sounded in the room. A phone ran on her dresser and you glared at it. It was Olivia's phone right next to her hairbrush… You instantly grabbed it and answered with a growl. "What?"

"Welcome home, YN. Preview of coming events."

You kept yourself guarded, anger welling up inside you this was happening again and innocent kids had to die all because yet another attention whore was desperate to be the next Billy and Stu.

"Why don't you come for me? Think you have the balls for that?" You demanded, gun still aimed in your right hand. Your middle finger was stiff but the trigger finger and other two worked just fine. "Come on out, you fucking pussy ass bitch."

"Oh poor YN; you still think this is about you. You still think you're the star."

"That's because I am. You wouldn't be doing this if I hadn't arrived in Woodsboro. You clearly want my attention. "

"Just so I can watch the old, burnt out star crash to Earth. You're just the audience to act 2. This is where the plot starts to thicken-"

"This isn't a fucking movie!"

"It will be."

"You're not getting away with this. These are innocent people-"

"Spare me the lecture!" The voice yelled before continuing. The persons disguised voice almost purring out the insults with some sadistic glee. "You've done very well by all this bloodshed, haven't you? How about the town you left behind? The people you left behind?...I've got plans for you. I'm gonna slit your eyelids in half so you don't blink when I stab you in the face."

You sneered, gun raised as you looked around the room.

"You'll die when I want you to, YN. Not a moment before. Until then, you're going to suffer."

You scoffed to yourself before hanging up. Hearing Jill call your name downstairs.

"Jill?" You rushed over to stop her from entering the room. "Stay right there! I told you not to come in here!"

"Where's Olivia? Where is she?!" Jill urged, trying to look past you into the room.

"I don't know. Do not look, okay?" You demanded, blocking the doorway.

Jill stepped back and shook her head at you. Tears in her eyes as she gave you an accusing stare. "She said you were The Angel of Death…"

You didn't have time to react or say anything as a Ghostface came out of the closet and went to stab Jill. You whipped her to the side and the knife sliced her forearm as she tumbled down the stairs. Clutching her arm in horror as the killer grabbed you and slammed you against a wall. You brought your gun up to shoot them in the head and they went backwards down the stairs with your shirt clutched between their gloved hand. Flinging you both off the steps and tumbling down to the landing where Jill was.

You hit the ground with a thud while Ghostface scrambled away from you. Kicking your gun out of your grip. You realized and panic set in as you frantically tried looking for it. All while Jill just screamed and got out of the way. Ghostface went to stab you. You were still down on the ground before you kicked them in the head as hard as you could from the landing you laid on. It sent them tumbling down the last flight of steps and crashed on the floor.

"Jill, my gun! Help me!"

You weren't going to hesitate to shoot this fucker right between the eyes and end this. Jill trembled, trying to look around.

You saw an officer charge inside as you yelled at him. "The killers here!"

You finally found your gun on the floor a few feet from Jill. You quickly got it and pointed with your free hand.

"Where is he?" The officer asked. His badge read 'Perkins'.

You turned to point. "Right there-...." Freezing when there was nothing but an empty spot. The backdoor was wide open. You turned back. "H-He was."

Perkins spoke into a walkie as he went to the backdoor.

You turned back to Jill who held her arm, glaring at you with tears in her eyes as you went to ask if she was okay. She shook her head. "Don't."

You stared in shock at her as she slid down the wall. You simply turned away and went outside past a boy you've never met as he rushed by you to comfort her.

You walked out, a few neighbors lights were on as you looked back at the house and had to do a double take. It felt like your heart was sinking deeper and deeper as your heartbeat thumped in your ears. Slowly turning back around to see if what you thought you saw was true…Your face dropped, staring in complete horror before you quickly clamped your hand over your mouth…Flashbacks from that party filtered your brain as her hair hung down and her arms dripped blood to her fingertips. The sickening pattering on the cement underneath her was a reminder of your deceased best friend from 15 years ago…. There was Olivia's corpse. Guts hanging, shoulder at an odd angle and body limp. Shoved through the lifted garage doors pet door.

You stared, knees buckling as you sank to the ground. Staring at the scene as you heard Randy. He ran across the street, trying to put on shoes as he ran.

"YN! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?-....Oh fuck." His mouth fell as he stopped dead in his tracks. The same terrified expression on his face that you had as well.

Police sirens sounded down the block as Kirby, Jill and that boy came out. Kirby clutched her mouth and gagged when she saw it as Jill released a sob. The boy you surmised was her boyfriend held her close and took her away from the scene.

Randy helped you stand. "Are you hurt? Are you okay? Why were you in there YN?!... Where's the killer?" He put his hands on your shoulders as you closed your eyes and nodded. "F-Fine. I'm fine…The killer escaped." You swallowed and looked at him. "Get Karla and the kids out of this fucking town by sunrise." He furiously nodded, as you both turned back around to stare at the teenager's corpse. A giant warning and reminder of your past coming back to haunt you.

'...I think it's time to make that phone call.'

[the-ghost-bird]

Relapse is sooo... bittersweet.

You know, before I started cutting years ago, i was in an environment where people called self harm "stupid people shit". People just thought it was fucking stupid and you'd get called a moron for doing so. They would say "It's for attention" but what attention if no one gives a fuck? For a while, i let the idea of being "stupid" stop me from cutting but eventually... it happened. Guess that just proves you can't shame mental issues away.

I don't remember why i started cutting exactly. I think it was because i was tired of feeling like my insides didnt match my outside body. I felt broken and scarred and wrong but i had no scars to prove for it. I had pain but where was the proof that my pain was real?

Then eventually, i started cutting because i felt like i deserved it. I don't know why i felt like that but it turned into a quick to go method of punishing myself.

Nowadays, it's just to feel something. And isn't that so fucked up? I try to do so many things to feel something and they barely work. Fighting used to hold off the urge to cut but nowadays there is no fighting or fucking that will fix it.

I just... i spent all my life with emotions like ghosts. There but not. Dulled down, with the few rare occasions that my emotions would turn into a tsunami. Emphasis on the word rare. And it becomes increasingly rare and i become increasingly emotionless.

I have no more love and no more hate and no more anger and no more disgust and no more care. At least not to a degree where any of those emotions feel real or impactful. But cutting fixes that. I can feel something. I can feel real and alive and human and i can bleed like i was meant to.

Although, to be honest, it's not like i bleed much. I'm too much of a pussy to do anything more than cat scratches and draw anything more than a few miserable drops of blood. My scars are thin white stripes that are barely visible and fuck, it should feel like a blessing but i end up feeling invalid, like i cant even claim to self harm because i won't fucking do it right.

What's the point of this post? Don't know. No sé. Não sei. Je ne sais pas. Я не знаю.

I guess I'm just tired of not being able to talk about it while simultaneously wanting to talk about it.

I know this isn't ideal. I've been trying not to cut anymore and it's generally been working. I'll cut what? Maybe every 4 months? That's good enough.

I don't know how to finish this. How do i make it seem like I'm getting better? Like I'm getting somewhere? How do i convince myself and everyone else that despite everything I'm recovering?

Am i recovering?

[ourladyoflight]

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

name: [_ _ _ _ _ _ _] , but known more commonly as "Angel"

eye color: Blue- a shade that seems too deep to be natural.

hair style/color: Blonde and silky- will form locks if it's down, but most commonly worn in an ornate bun.

height: Most often 5'11"

clothing style: A simple sort of ethereal- her usual robes are white, and flowy enough to keep her comfortable without limiting her movement. If she's wearing human clothes, she'll tend to drift towards light/neutral colors, and "academia" type clothing- but she's been known to enjoy a sundress from time to time, and won't mind experimenting with new trends or items she hasn't encountered before.

best physical feature: If you ask her, her wings!! She also has a positive view of her own scars. (But if you ask the mun, her face- her resting expression is what makes her seem approachable and warm!!)

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE.

your fears: " I don't know if I truly fear much of anything anymore, aside from failing those dear to me here. I'd go through anything to keep that from happening. "

your guilty pleasure: " ... I didn't understand how to use a microwave for a short time, and would laser food instead to heat it up ... I still do it sometimes ... "

your ambitions for the future: “ It used to be saving Kazuya's soul, and that alone- nowadays, I'm a little less sure ... I think that, should any other conflict of supernatural proportions arise, my aim is to prevent or limit any damage to Earth that they'd cause. "

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS.

your first thoughts waking up: " Although I do not truly sleep, I'm usually very excited for new things I will learn about! For instance, there was this interesting recipe for cake rolls, and ... "

what you think about most: " An equal split between things I can no longer change, and the things I can make better today. ”

what you think about before bed: " I still don't tend to sleep, dear asker! But I usually think about my family come nighttime, and the humans come morning. "

what you think your best quality is: " My dedication, I think. I love strongly, and I'm not one to give up easily- though it can be just as much of a curse as it is a blessing. ”

WHAT’S BETTER?

single or group dates: “ Hm ... I suppose either would be alright for me, though single sounds lovely. I'd just be content to be around the person who'd asked me on one. ”

to be loved or respected: “ Respected. I can't ask or expect everyone to love me as I love them, but I can only hope they would respect me enough to allow me to try. ”

beauty or brains: “ Heart. ”

dogs or cats:  “ Yes !”

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU…

lie:  “ By a literal definition, no- but if you'd consider a lie to be an omission of the truth, then .. Rarely. ”

believe in yourself: “ More now than I used to. ”

believe in love: “ Always .”

want someone: “ ... ”

LAYER SIX: EVER BEEN…

been on stage: “ I suppose the type of stage would be important.. Perhaps, a few times, though I wasn't the main focus. ”

done drugs: “ ... From the drugstore? I did try an antihistamine once ! ”

changed who you were to fit in: “ Yes, and I'd like to think I've gotten plenty of practice. I can't just walk around Earth with wings on full display. ”

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES.

favorite color: “ Off whites and blues. Maybe gold, too .. ”

favorite animal: “ I enjoy all of them, but rabbits and avian creatures have a special place in my heart .”

favorite movie: “ I've very recently finished Kiki's Delivery Service! "

favorite game: “ Animal Crossing! I enjoy speaking to the villagers. "

LAYER EIGHT: AGE.

day your next birthday will be: “ I don't think I've ever celebrated a birthday of mine- and it would be rather difficult to translate it to a human calendar ... ”

how old will you be: “ To angels, or to humans? ”

age you lost your virginity: “ ...? What do you mean lost ? I didn't set it down somewhere, did I ? "

does age matter: “ I suppose so ..? I think I'm usually perceived as being around my late twenties or early thirties by most humans, and I would generally apply that sort of age range to anyone else. ”

LAYER NINE: IN A PERSON.

best personality: " I don't think I would have much of a preference, but I'm usually drawn to people who are considerate. "

best eye color: “ No preference. ”

best hair color: “ No preference. ”

best thing to do with a partner: " Goodness, I don't usually think about this .. I would be happy doing anything they'd enjoy, really. I enjoy getting to learn about what others enjoy. It makes me feel more complete, if that makes sense ? ”

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE.

i love: “ Earth.”

i feel: “ Grounded.”

i hide: “ Pain. ”

i miss: “ The way things were before. ”

i wish: “ I could have done more. ”

TAGGED BY: @demonsfate !! Thank you for the tag, this was so much fun!! 💜

TAGGING: You, and anyone else who sees this!! 💜